Reply to I'm lost. DD told me she was raped.

Forum Index » Tweens and Teens

Reply to "I'm lost. DD told me she was raped. "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP,
I was raped over 30 years ago by a popular teacher when I was 13.  My father knew something had happened because I told my cousin something right before I went on my first ever (alone) group camping trip for two weeks.  When I came back he stopped the car, started asking me questions, and when he started crying, I quit.

It took my mother saying almost a year later "it's not like you were raped!" to say that yes I was.

I was a lot less sophisticated than your daughter - not in high school and did not think the degree of the violation mattered and did not want to tell my parents anyway in detail - and I thought that if he crossed a line, he crossed it.

We tried to report less than a year later to the Md police, who said "give us his name and we will shake him down and scare him" but given the demographics of Md juries where it happened, the fact that I was white and he was black and there was no physical evidence and I did not tell anyone immediately = no possibility of a conviction.  So we did not pursue it.  We had a civil settlement with the school which turned out to mean nothing but they all relied on my faith to keep him at the school where they could "keep an eye on him" although they failed to do that at all.

Years later I had found more victims (boys and girls - he was a pedophile) right when he was being nominated to head a charter boarding school (see how well my school had upheld its part of the settlement to warn people).

I think there is a step in between reporting and not, where you alert the police that this is not a one hit wonder, but not sure how we did it and he never got arrested.

OP,
therapy and if your gut or your dd's tells her it is not the right person, go back and find someone else.  Learning again to rely on your gut is extremely valuable and a good connection is critical for therapy..............

To be absolutely honest even after I told I went through multiple crises including almost successful suicide attempts that required hospitalization

good news I became a successful lawyer and am the mother of three delightful children but it was a long road.....

keep your head up and take it day by day and if you cannot then moment by moment
the model you set of putting one foot in front of the other (my mother collapsed) will be a great lesson and model for your daughter..........

Many hugs and best hopes for what will undoubtedly be a lifelong journey of healing -
there is before rape, and after rape before telling, and now you have to forge a new path..........

You and your daughter are in my prayers.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics