Reply to "Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him

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Reply to ""Perfect on paper husband," just not in love with him"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, are you a SAHM or do you work?  Whats the division of assets/money?[/quote]

OP. He makes 80% of our HHI. I said initially that I realize this is a problem. I could support myself but I would need child support for the kids in this area, especially since we want them to go to private school. As for dividing assets, I don't know how that would work. Neither of us came into the marriage with much in savings so I guess we would just split what we do have now 50/50?[/quote]

I think you need a reality check OP. Have you read some of the other threads on here about women who wish their husbands were home more, helped more, made more money, were more ambitious, better fathers, more involved, more caring? Despite how not in love with your husband you are, you still managed to describe him in your first post as a man that any DCUM woman could dream of: a physician who loves and cares about his job, brings home the bacon and also pitches in at home, is a good caring husband and father. The problem in your situation isn't your husband. It's you. You knowingly married someone you weren't in love with under pressure from your family. Now after 6 years of marriage you're regretting your decision and want your husband to change to meet your expectation of what being "in-love" is, which from your description involves a macho man who wants to "take" you and yell at you when he's angry.

You seem reluctant to go to therapy because you tried it once and it wasn't good. I think you should try again. You're throwing away what sounds like a good man for an illusion. He is not the one who needs to change, you are the one who needs to change by fixing your perception and changing your outlook on your marriage. If you can't do that then you are better off getting divorced, but if you do that you should be aware of the reality of what life will be like after. I can't say that you won't ever be able to date anyone because that's untrue, it will be difficult but not impossible. You will most likely find someone who will give you what you want sexually, but ask yourself if that is a good enough trade off for what you would be giving up to get it.[/quote]

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