Reply to Don't Let a Guy Waste Your Most Eligible Years

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I truly did not realize women waited for men to propose. This is so odd to me.[/quote]

How old are you and what is your gender?[/quote]

45yo female

When I met my H at 23 I told him I was not looking to be serious, we dated on and off, not monogamous.
3 years later when I realized he might be the guy and I was 26 I told him that I wanted to get married evnetually and I was going to look for a monogamous relationship, I asked if he was interested. He said, I am not ready for a commitment. So I said, "Awesome, love you, hope you have a great life". No big awful break-up, I was sad, he was sad.... but life goes on.
8 months later he asked me on a a date and I told him I was not interested unless he was thinking of a monogamous relationship. He said he was.
We were monogamous for 2 years and moved in together, ate mac and cheese and jug wine for the next 2 years and bought a house... got married somewhere in between.

I was never just waiting to be proposed to, I had an idea of what I wanted out of life, I communicated that consistently for years and he had the same goals. When he didn't we were not together. [/quote]

So neither of you proposed?  And you moved in before you got married?  Huh. I'm a 48 year old female and wouldn't have done it your way. By chance, do you have children?[/quote]

neither proposed but my H wanted to get me a ring because he though people would think he was a cheapskate.  :? 
Yes. We moved in before we got married, actually bought a house before too. 
We have 2 children. 12 and 15

I can not tell you how many people assumed that I was the one waiting on him. It was a little pathetic. He actually wanted to get married before we bought the house but I really wanted to make sure we could get into a house first, our apartment was pathetic and we did go away to get married, so I could not commit the funds to a vacation over the house. I know... you wouldn't have done it that way. [/quote]

I think that's great and all FOR YOU.  But surely you can understand that there are some women out there who want the big traditional thing.  They want the guy to propose, they want to walk down the aisle in a big white fluffy dress with bridesmaids, etc.  There is nothing wrong with them and it seems like you think women who want that are somehow not as good as you?  I can't figure it out.  There is nothing wrong with a woman being like you and being very laid back about it.  It's what YOU wanted.  Similarly, there is nothing wrong about a woman wanting the big traditional thing.  Again its what SHE wants.  The problem is when what SHE wants and what HE wants don't match up and she spends wasted years hoping he will change.  My friend will never propose to her boyfriend.  Not because she doesn't think a woman can do it, but because she realizes there is no point.  If he's not ready to propose to her (which he's told her) he's not magically going to be ready because she proposes.  Maybe get off your high horse for a second and realize that people have different wants and there is nothing wrong with that. [/quote]

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