Reply to How to approach a friend in total denial

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here I have only discussed residential treatment with her because SHE HAS BROUGHT IT UP SEVERAL TIMES as a possibility if these last meds do not work (which so far they are not). She acknowledged things are getting so bad for the family that they are really leaning in that direction.

[b]Then if one little thing good happens she immediately thinks things are getting better (which I understand her desperate need for optimism) but then within a few days it goes back to how its been[/b].

I really want to say stop kidding yourself this is a lifelong affliction which hopefully can be managed with the proper meds/therapy but I feel she has still not accepted that end of it.

I am taking her next week on a desperately needed 2 day spa trip as a mental break from her torment. If she wants to talk about then we will but I am not going to bring it up, I think she needs a major break from thinking, breathing and living this.[/quote]
OP, I truly hope that you are just coming off wrong in your posts, but really mean well in real life. Otherwise, who the freak are you to tell a suffering parent in the actual situation how to feel???
It's not as if they are not doing anything, they seem to be trying everything. STOP TRYING TO REGULATE HER HOPES AND FEELINGS!
That is not your place.[/quote]

Reminds me so much of my own sister who dealt with this about 9 years ago with her son (22 at the time). It was really devastating for her whole family and us to watch but not be able to do anything about. Only when he tried to hurt himself was he admitted. Best thing that could have happened to their family. Your friend is doing her son no favors to allow him to sit and rot away in his room. Sorry to be so crude but that is it. He will not get better sitting there. He needs intense therapy 24/7. Can they afford it? It is outrageously expensive but some insurance companies like Oxford can help out (they did with my sister).

Lots of parents including my own sister think they can fix their kid. They can't. It just does not work that way. It is a complicated and an immense energy draining illness that ideally is overseen by professionals trained to deal with it, not parents who are emotionally over involved. That is my angle having lived through it with my nephew. The healing for their family only began once he left the house.[/quote]
Did you not read the OP where OP said that they have tried various medications, therapies, and are considering in patient treatments. However, as numerous posters have pointed out you cannot just put an adult in a treatment facility against their will. Nowhere did OP say they are just letting him sit around not 
that he is mentally ill. Do you people know anything about the mental health system?[/quote]

PP, how is your nephew now, nine years later?[/quote]

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