Reply to Am i wrong for being angry DH wants to change careers?

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[quote=Anonymous]Love your post
Signed
SAHM who went back to school in 40s, wants to go back again for MSN 
Would do same for my DH if he wanted to pursue
Earn some $$ and let him have his turn
One life
[quote=Anonymous]I do not know how many of you are actually in your 50’s, but something happens around that age.  We all start to realize that we are squarely in the second half or last third of our working life.  We starting thinking back to the “wind behind our sails” mentality that we had in college or just starting out.  That we were going to change the world, have some impact or make a boatload of money.  We often think of what we can do in the last 10-15 years to cement our professional legacy.  What OP’s DH is feeling is totally natural.  Some volunteer for non profit boards while others want to try to hit it big for a few years.

The people that are saying he should suck it up are wrong.  Marriage is not a prison sentence.  Selfish? This guy has carried the load and has brought in at least 90% of the income for years.  He basically allowed himself to be the financial mule of the family.  SAH can be tough at times, but it does not compare to having your entire family’s financial well being in your hands.  OP is trying to pin this on the kid, but it is her that is insecure. She has this tidy little life and she fears that it will disrupted.  His time and energy will not be focused on keeping her little box intact and that scares her as much as the money.  I have seen it before.  Also, most schools offer online degree programs for professionals.  I am working on another degree and I have not set foot in a classroom in over a year.  Everything is distance learning.  And my kids are tickled pink and LOVE coming to my awards programs and such.  They see me, even as a geezer, as someone who is trying to improve myself.  My 2 oldest are in college and they say it motivates them.

But I will say this OP and all the other “you are too old, suck it up” wives out there. If OP does not at least attempt to make this work, that man is going to be leaving right after the kid pulls off for college. The resentment will be too much.

Signed,

A 53YO who went back to grad school with a kid in high school and is married to a DH who changed his career at 54. 
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