Reply to Getting seperated...what is fair?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Yes half the debt and half the assests....fair is fair.  I am not looking for anything more, but it seems like I will need to fight to even get that.  It is what it is though.  I just need to let go of the idea that I have any ability to control how he behaves.  It will be tough for awhile, but we will be okay.[/quote]

PP at 15:46 here. OP, the reason that people are urging you to get a lawyer and stop agreeing to things informally is that the only elements of his behavior you CAN control are the things that get codified into a divorce decree. You CAN control how much alimony and child support he pays. You CAN control who is responsible for the debt. You CAN control when the children are with him vs. with you. I am not saying that you will get 100% of what you want in those examples, but by getting a lawyer and advocating for yourself, you can get yourself the best deal possible, have it bronzed and notarized and whatever else, and then if he fails to uphold his end of the deal, you have a means to enforce the deal.

Good luck.[/quote]

+1 - very well put.

OP, don't assume you have you take half the debts he incurred in secret. Maybe you will; maybe you won't - I'm
No lawyer - but just because he says it's so doesn't make it so. In fact, if he's saying its so, it's probably just the opposite. Don't take anything he says at face value any more.

You sound like you're getting more clarity about who you're dealing with here. That's good , though I'm sure also shocking and very hard to process. I'm glad you have a great family to help you![/quote]

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