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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's pretty standard that kids are doing BJs and HJs in 8th/9th grade. Certainly by freshman year all of my Catholic school friends were doing something along those lines. The public school (Bethesda/Chevy Chase area) kids started a bit earlier. [/quote]

Uhh, you must have been in the high speed popular crowd. No way were my friends and I giving bjs in eight and ninth grade. I didn't get that far till senior year. [/quote]

I lost my virginity in 9th grade at age 14 with a 16 yr old who I had been dating almost a year. I was not fast or popular. It was not peer pressure and I didn't tell any of my girlfriends until years later b/c I was an honor student and none of my friends from band and French club were doing stuff fluke that. I also cared about him a lot and knew I was doing something I wanted of my own volition. I had sexy with 2 guys in HS and the second one I dated over 2 years and into my death man year of college. I graduated 3rd in my HS class, 3 varisity sports, 2 club presidencies, and 1st chair for my instrument in band. I went to a great school, have a great career, and got married at 33 to the 10th person I had sex with. Not all girls who have sex young are peer pressured, dumb, or low SES. Some of your gifted, perfect, honor students who are so academically precocious are also precociously capable of having relatively mature romantic relationships that include sex. [/quote]

+1000

Women enjoy sex too and so do girls.  Obviously, pp's situation is very different from a situation in which she felt pressured etc but I'm glad someone came on here to say that teen sex can also be a positive experience and part of growing up.

My best friend lost her virginity at 13 and she said that her first lover was actually the best, most generous lover she's ever had.  She's now a happily married, employed, respectable 40 year old mother of 2.  She's from a great family, not low SES.

I have two girls and when they're older I'm going to warn then about manipulative men or men who pressure them into sex. Also' I'll make sure we have condoms in the house and discuss birth control. But at the same time I'm not going to lie - sex is fun if it's with the right person. Nothing wrong with that.[/quote]

The greatest, most generous lovers are not going to be other 13 yr old boys. Sounds like she was having sex with an older man when she was 13. Not what most parents want for their kids.

Kids who have sex very young are at risk for many more negative outcomes in life. Not that every one will but for example people with drug addiction tended to lose their virginity earlier, people who don't finish high school lose their virginity earlier. In general early lose of virginity increases risks of poorer life outcomes. Telling your daughters that 12 or 13 is a great age to have sex and that those might be the best lovers they'll ever have and giving them condoms for their sexual escapades at that age also puts them at risk for safety issues. [/quote]

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