Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 09:19     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 43 year old hubby got his first BJ at age 11 from another 11 year old girl during a neighborhood truth or dare game.

What were the parents doing?



They were at work. Kids at that age hang out unsupervised all the time.

Exactly. Welcome to absentee parenting.


So responsible parenting means never leaving your child alone until your child turns 18? Yikes.

Responsible parenting means knowing how to read.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 09:17     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 43 year old hubby got his first BJ at age 11 from another 11 year old girl during a neighborhood truth or dare game.

What were the parents doing?



They were at work. Kids at that age hang out unsupervised all the time.

Exactly. Welcome to absentee parenting.


So responsible parenting means never leaving your child alone until your child turns 18? Yikes.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 09:09     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty standard that kids are doing BJs and HJs in 8th/9th grade. Certainly by freshman year all of my Catholic school friends were doing something along those lines. The public school (Bethesda/Chevy Chase area) kids started a bit earlier.


Uhh, you must have been in the high speed popular crowd. No way were my friends and I giving bjs in eight and ninth grade. I didn't get that far till senior year.


I lost my virginity in 9th grade at age 14 with a 16 yr old who I had been dating almost a year. I was not fast or popular. It was not peer pressure and I didn't tell any of my girlfriends until years later b/c I was an honor student and none of my friends from band and French club were doing stuff fluke that. I also cared about him a lot and knew I was doing something I wanted of my own volition. I had sexy with 2 guys in HS and the second one I dated over 2 years and into my death man year of college. I graduated 3rd in my HS class, 3 varisity sports, 2 club presidencies, and 1st chair for my instrument in band. I went to a great school, have a great career, and got married at 33 to the 10th person I had sex with. Not all girls who have sex young are peer pressured, dumb, or low SES. Some of your gifted, perfect, honor students who are so academically precocious are also precociously capable of having relatively mature romantic relationships that include sex.


+1000

Women enjoy sex too and so do girls. Obviously, pp's situation is very different from a situation in which she felt pressured etc but I'm glad someone came on here to say that teen sex can also be a positive experience and part of growing up.

My best friend lost her virginity at 13 and she said that her first lover was actually the best, most generous lover she's ever had. She's now a happily married, employed, respectable 40 year old mother of 2. She's from a great family, not low SES.

I have two girls and when they're older I'm going to warn then about manipulative men or men who pressure them into sex. Also' I'll make sure we have condoms in the house and discuss birth control. But at the same time I'm not going to lie - sex is fun if it's with the right person. Nothing wrong with that.


Does your husband agree that your daughters being sexually active by 13 is a good thing?
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 09:08     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty standard that kids are doing BJs and HJs in 8th/9th grade. Certainly by freshman year all of my Catholic school friends were doing something along those lines. The public school (Bethesda/Chevy Chase area) kids started a bit earlier.


Uhh, you must have been in the high speed popular crowd. No way were my friends and I giving bjs in eight and ninth grade. I didn't get that far till senior year.


I lost my virginity in 9th grade at age 14 with a 16 yr old who I had been dating almost a year. I was not fast or popular. It was not peer pressure and I didn't tell any of my girlfriends until years later b/c I was an honor student and none of my friends from band and French club were doing stuff fluke that. I also cared about him a lot and knew I was doing something I wanted of my own volition. I had sexy with 2 guys in HS and the second one I dated over 2 years and into my death man year of college. I graduated 3rd in my HS class, 3 varisity sports, 2 club presidencies, and 1st chair for my instrument in band. I went to a great school, have a great career, and got married at 33 to the 10th person I had sex with. Not all girls who have sex young are peer pressured, dumb, or low SES. Some of your gifted, perfect, honor students who are so academically precocious are also precociously capable of having relatively mature romantic relationships that include sex.


+1000

Women enjoy sex too and so do girls. Obviously, pp's situation is very different from a situation in which she felt pressured etc but I'm glad someone came on here to say that teen sex can also be a positive experience and part of growing up.

My best friend lost her virginity at 13 and she said that her first lover was actually the best, most generous lover she's ever had. She's now a happily married, employed, respectable 40 year old mother of 2. She's from a great family, not low SES.

I have two girls and when they're older I'm going to warn then about manipulative men or men who pressure them into sex. Also' I'll make sure we have condoms in the house and discuss birth control. But at the same time I'm not going to lie - sex is fun if it's with the right person. Nothing wrong with that.


The greatest, most generous lovers are not going to be other 13 yr old boys. Sounds like she was having sex with an older man when she was 13. Not what most parents want for their kids.

Kids who have sex very young are at risk for many more negative outcomes in life. Not that every one will but for example people with drug addiction tended to lose their virginity earlier, people who don't finish high school lose their virginity earlier. In general early lose of virginity increases risks of poorer life outcomes. Telling your daughters that 12 or 13 is a great age to have sex and that those might be the best lovers they'll ever have and giving them condoms for their sexual escapades at that age also puts them at risk for safety issues.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 09:01     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 43 year old hubby got his first BJ at age 11 from another 11 year old girl during a neighborhood truth or dare game.

What were the parents doing?



They were at work. Kids at that age hang out unsupervised all the time.

Exactly. Welcome to absentee parenting.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:53     Subject: Sex at 13?
I would have laughed if you had said I would look to Jane Fonda for advice a couple of weeks ago, but listened to an interview of her new book, Being A Teen on the Diane Rehm show and plan on getting it for my 12 year old.

Here is a link to an interview about the book. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/marianne-schnall/interview-with-jane-fonda_b_4929899.html

When I was in college I lived in a group house and all of my room mates were quite sexually active, some because they really enjoyed it, several because that is what you were supposed to do. I will never forget my one roommate saying she never had had good sex and I think she had been with about ten men at that point. A lot of these issues are set up with what experiences and expectations you have when you are young and lots of baggage does not help. Personally as a parent, I want my kids thinking though decisions.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:43     Subject: Re:Sex at 13?
Naive question 8:40. Parents aren't everywhere all the time.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:42     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 43 year old hubby got his first BJ at age 11 from another 11 year old girl during a neighborhood truth or dare game.

What were the parents doing?



They were at work. Kids at that age hang out unsupervised all the time.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:40     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:My 43 year old hubby got his first BJ at age 11 from another 11 year old girl during a neighborhood truth or dare game.

What were the parents doing?
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:38     Subject: Sex at 13?
My 43 year old hubby got his first BJ at age 11 from another 11 year old girl during a neighborhood truth or dare game.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:37     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:I'm a 41 year old female and lost my virginity at 12

So what.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:36     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am not completely pro-life but you parents saying abortion for your kids make me ill. First off, it is not the safest procedure, second it teaches nothing, third there are many families looking for a baby of their own.

If your kid is old enough to want to have sex and dumb enough to not use protection, at least give the baby a viable option instead of killing it. 9 months of pregnant may close her legs next time too.


It actually is the safest procedure. Far safer than childbirth. The mortality rate for women is 8.8 dead women per 100,000 live births for childbirth, 0.6 dead women per 100,000 abortions for abortion.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22270271

And if you would force your daughter to have a child because it teaches her a lesson, well...

(Thanks for confirming, yet again, that anybody who uses the phrase "close your legs" is not saying anything worthwhile.)


People that have abortions have risks for infertility when you vacuum the baby off the uterine wall. There is also phsychological issues of killing your kid that you have to live with. And no one said forcing a daughter to have a baby. I just am ashamed people actually think their only option for their daughter is killing an innocent baby and going back to school the next day. Yuck.

Every invasive proceedure we allow has risks and consequences. Everyone knows that. And let's pretend that infertility isn't a massive problem for more and more women.
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:34     Subject: Sex at 13?
I'm a 41 year old female and lost my virginity at 12
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:31     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty standard that kids are doing BJs and HJs in 8th/9th grade. Certainly by freshman year all of my Catholic school friends were doing something along those lines. The public school (Bethesda/Chevy Chase area) kids started a bit earlier.


Uhh, you must have been in the high speed popular crowd. No way were my friends and I giving bjs in eight and ninth grade. I didn't get that far till senior year.


I lost my virginity in 9th grade at age 14 with a 16 yr old who I had been dating almost a year. I was not fast or popular. It was not peer pressure and I didn't tell any of my girlfriends until years later b/c I was an honor student and none of my friends from band and French club were doing stuff fluke that. I also cared about him a lot and knew I was doing something I wanted of my own volition. I had sexy with 2 guys in HS and the second one I dated over 2 years and into my death man year of college. I graduated 3rd in my HS class, 3 varisity sports, 2 club presidencies, and 1st chair for my instrument in band. I went to a great school, have a great career, and got married at 33 to the 10th person I had sex with. Not all girls who have sex young are peer pressured, dumb, or low SES. Some of your gifted, perfect, honor students who are so academically precocious are also precociously capable of having relatively mature romantic relationships that include sex.


+1000

Women enjoy sex too and so do girls. Obviously, pp's situation is very different from a situation in which she felt pressured etc but I'm glad someone came on here to say that teen sex can also be a positive experience and part of growing up.

My best friend lost her virginity at 13 and she said that her first lover was actually the best, most generous lover she's ever had. She's now a happily married, employed, respectable 40 year old mother of 2. She's from a great family, not low SES.

I have two girls and when they're older I'm going to warn then about manipulative men or men who pressure them into sex. Also' I'll make sure we have condoms in the house and discuss birth control. But at the same time I'm not going to lie - sex is fun if it's with the right person. Nothing wrong with that.

At what age are you ok with your girls having sex?
Anonymous
Post 04/19/2014 08:14     Subject: Sex at 13?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it's pretty standard that kids are doing BJs and HJs in 8th/9th grade. Certainly by freshman year all of my Catholic school friends were doing something along those lines. The public school (Bethesda/Chevy Chase area) kids started a bit earlier.


Uhh, you must have been in the high speed popular crowd. No way were my friends and I giving bjs in eight and ninth grade. I didn't get that far till senior year.


I lost my virginity in 9th grade at age 14 with a 16 yr old who I had been dating almost a year. I was not fast or popular. It was not peer pressure and I didn't tell any of my girlfriends until years later b/c I was an honor student and none of my friends from band and French club were doing stuff fluke that. I also cared about him a lot and knew I was doing something I wanted of my own volition. I had sexy with 2 guys in HS and the second one I dated over 2 years and into my death man year of college. I graduated 3rd in my HS class, 3 varisity sports, 2 club presidencies, and 1st chair for my instrument in band. I went to a great school, have a great career, and got married at 33 to the 10th person I had sex with. Not all girls who have sex young are peer pressured, dumb, or low SES. Some of your gifted, perfect, honor students who are so academically precocious are also precociously capable of having relatively mature romantic relationships that include sex.


+1000

Women enjoy sex too and so do girls. Obviously, pp's situation is very different from a situation in which she felt pressured etc but I'm glad someone came on here to say that teen sex can also be a positive experience and part of growing up.

My best friend lost her virginity at 13 and she said that her first lover was actually the best, most generous lover she's ever had. She's now a happily married, employed, respectable 40 year old mother of 2. She's from a great family, not low SES.

I have two girls and when they're older I'm going to warn then about manipulative men or men who pressure them into sex. Also' I'll make sure we have condoms in the house and discuss birth control. But at the same time I'm not going to lie - sex is fun if it's with the right person. Nothing wrong with that.