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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - he has adamantly refused to let me have access to his email.  He keeps his two home computers all locked up.  I think he was surprised I got the phone records.  He wouldn't even agree to "ground rules" about the phone.  I said  you need to leave the phone out in the open with the ringer on..and if you go out to garage to work on a project, leave phone in house.  he didn't like these "rules" and said I was controlling him.  [b]But, I said to him, if you are really and truly working on our marriage, we need to rebuild trust. [/b] He doesn't seem very willing to do anything to prove himself re: trust issues right now.  But he did apologize again and tell me, I have done what you asked; I have cut off all contact.  (He called her after I called her and he apologized to her for my call - which I told him was ridicululous - he should care more about my feelings than her feelings - and he says he told her he was "oversharing" with her and he knows she was just being a supportive friend but that he needed to stop this now.) [/quote]

OP, I'm going to be blunt. You are going about this all wrong. Of COURSE he's not working on your marriage. How could he be working on "rebuilding trust" when he's in the middle of a fucking affair that he won't admit to, and that is STILL OCCURRING?

I honestly wish I could reach through my computer screen and shake some sense into you. You are so focused on "rebuilding trust", setting ground rules, etc. which is about 100 steps ahead of where you currently are. He needs to admit to the fucking affair that is glaringly obvious to the rest of us, if there is any hope of moving on.

PLEASE hire a PI. You are going to have to confront him with solid evidence, otherwise he will continue gaslighting you while he talks to/has sex with the OW whenever he can.

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