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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]at first it was little things - if I bought tickets to a show, then it's we need to X, Y and Z shows - or let's go to NY to see the show and make a weekend out of it (difficult for me to on a regular basis due to heavy travel for work).  I took many decisions (I'm an "alpha" - sometimes too cocky) but it wasn't the "right" decision - so after many years I stopped since it wasn't to her liking.

but then it grew worse after the kids.  With two demanding careers (and my travel takes me abroad 2 weeks out of every 6), I took on more logistics with the kid so she could get back on her career path (her choice, which I supported) - it was exhausting and the world could see it except for her.  But that only led to resentment because the weekends were not full of enough 'social' activities.  It led to a breakdown in communication and eventually further downhill from there.

But after all is said and done, I am equally to blame and I made my fair share of mistakes and I was 50% responsible for her to stray (EA for sure, but not PA I think) before we divorced.[/quote]

Oh dear.  I'm sorry.  OP here and you sound like you were a pretty damned good husband.  I do not need more and more.  Seriously, tickets to one show and dinner.  Hell, drinks at a dive bar.    I am easy peasy.  I want us to spend more time together, as two individuals who once fell in love with each other, remembering why the hell that was.  It doesn't have to be some rom com movie fantasy.  I just want him to plan it.  Because I want to feel like he gives a damn and is willing to put some thought into it.  A 10 minute conversation about the relative merits of the 2pm matinee on Saturday versus the 8pm show on Friday?  Just kill me.  I don't care.  Now, if he asked me about my calendar and then called me to say I've bought tickets to the 8pm on Friday, made reservations at X, and DC is going to Grandma's?  I would be in heaven.  Fuck NY.  I just want one night where I don't have to make the GD decision and feel like a woman instead of a counselor.  I mean, seriously, is that asking too much?  And honestly, HOW do I tell him that this is what I need, without it sounding like a criticism?  [/quote]

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