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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, have you considered that you might be emotionally unavailable? Many women would like a man willing to talk about his emotions and listen to his partner's. Do you ever express feelings of insecurity or sadness or regret to him? They're there, but you probably pretend to be perfect and flawless instead. When you point fingers at someone else, you should really be looking at yourself first. I learned this the hard way.[/quote]

I'm plenty emotionally available.  We've gone through a lot recently, and just this past weekend he was my shoulder to cry on about something.  So see, he can be gallant and kind, and I love him for that.  I just don't have to cry on his should about every single freaking thing.

And trust me, I am the last person that ANYONE would ever call perfect or flawless.  And I know it.[/quote]

If you're anything like me, you've tried everything to fill up the empty space where your true self-esteem should be. Not people patting you on the back, or having the best grades, or popularity, or the perfect boyfriend or husband. All I can say is, we can only work on ourselves and making ourselves the most genuine, loving version of our true selves. Once you stop looking elsewhere and trying to change others to suit our needs, life gets better. [b]You can't change your husband. Accept him or move on[/b].[/quote]

This is an empty platitude that is not at all helpful.  I know that [b]I[/b] can't change him.  But to simply say that we have to accept others 100% or move on - black or white, this or that - is bullshit IMO.  Relationships are complex; they are not black and white.  I've already said I don't want a divorce.  I have a child.  And I know that I would be hard pressed to do better as an overall package.  I just want DH to be the best man that I know he can be.  I am doing my best to be the best person I can be.  Lord knows, DH has brought things to my attention that he felt needed improvement, and I took it to heart.  [b]I[/b] changed me.  I want him to WANT to be at his best, for me.  And you know what?  He's not at his best.  And he knows it.  And I think if he was being honest, he would see that he's not doing all he can do.  He's making a lot of excuses because status quo is easier than trying hard.  [/quote]

You know why it's not an empty platitude, OP? Because all your harping on his flaws is having zero effect. Zero. So, if I were you, I'd try a different approach that involves you focusing your yourself and your own needs. The only person you can control is you. Sorry you don't like that truth, but it remains thus. I hope you find happiness within yourself. [/quote]

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