Reply to How do Indian and Asian parents do it?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My two cents--

You work hard, that's hypersonic do it. If you want do every single non-academic thing  (spend a day at the mall) then you cannot make time for sitting down to study. You prioritize your life to make time to study.

If you expect to do every single thing you want to do (spend Sundays watching ballgames, friday nights are movie nights, Monday, Wed are sports practice). Then ask yourself "How do I do it while not giving up anything?" then the answer is, you can't.[/quote]

I felt like I had time to do both. Sports, clubs, hanging out with friends, etc. [b]Academics were solid enough to get me into my college of choice but that last two percent isn't what makes or breaks you.[/b] [/quote]

Think you're missing the point. In the stereotypical Indian families, "solid enough" is not good enough, and they do believe that the last 2% makes or breaks you. That last 2% is what keeps you from getting into an ivy/MIT/Caltech/wherever. That last 2% is what keeps you from being promoted at work; while a Caucasian person will get promoted at 100%, some Indian parents believe that their Indian kids will only be promoted if they are 102%. Same with college admissions -- esp with the over-representation of Asians at top colleges -- you won't get in if you aren't better than the majority applicants in a statistically significant way.

I think you have to grow up in this fear to truly understand it. Believe me I am living it right now, when my white friends are looking at me like I'm crazy for being SO worried about my job prospects given my degrees and experience.[/quote]

Pp you quoted - I am Indian (parents immigrated)   as it turns out, being a well rounded person who can connect with others easily, can converse on a wide range of subjects and comfortably speak in front of large groups was far more professionally (not to mention personally) valuable than that last two percent.  my siblings and I have done far better professionally than my cousins or friends who were drilled into their books and we're motivated by fear. [/quote]

Sorry for the typos - one more thing - while Indians absolutely face discrimination in the workplace, we also need to improve our networking and self promotion skills. How do you effectively promote yourself when you grow up feeling like you are never good enough and you constantly fear failure if you don't do everything exactly right? [/quote]

Definitely agree with you. I think the Indians who do "better" -- don't mean that objectively -- are those who have the great grades etc. that the parents wanted but are also well socialized, can speak effectively (I don't mean accents since these kids are being raised here - but confidence, being interesting/charming), have friends who can "help" them on things that parents don't know about. I'd like to think that I've worked hard to be one of these Indians -- my parents only thought of my ivy education, and I quickly realized that middle of the pack students do quite well if they are sociable and tried to emulate lots of those qualities. It has gotten me pretty far in my career, though I'm not going to lie and say there is no discrimination bc there still is. People just don't want to see Indians in certain roles, no matter how many degrees they may have (not saying it's what AAs face bc let's face it -- there are lots of Indians who are achieving prominent roles, but not everyone is ok with it).[/quote]

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