Reply to What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I had an affair when I was in my early 20s. He was 36, father of 3. We were both in a very low place in our lives. His support got me through w/o quitting my job. He and I both travelled for work Mon-Thurs. He got out of his funk and found a no travel job so he could be 100% with his family. They are still together and very happy now, as am I. It was wrong. I was immature and selfish and it made me feel needed and wanted. I am lucky it worked out ok. I used to think it was ok b/c I helped him get through a tough period in his life - but now that I am married I realize they should have worked through it together. [/quote]

Thanks for sharing this. Honestly I have more sympathy for young single women who get into these affairs. It's not right like you said but I think there is less life experience and knowledge to pull from. The woman my husband had an affair with was in her late 30s, married with two kids. To pursue the affair she moved out on her kids and got an apartment. She truly thought she and my husband were going to be together.

To be clear I don't blame her for my husband's affair, that was all him. But I did have trouble relating to WTF was going on in her mind. She is educated, successful career, a married mom....and just felt she was acting like a 15 year old. The entire thing was very painful for both of them, I mean, affairs are not very glamorous, they treated each other like shit basically and with very little respect. DH and I reconciled and moved forward with our marriage and after a lot of therapy and a lot of growing pains, we have a much better, stronger marriage. He describes the affair like you did, as a low point (uses the term dark period) in his life where he was reverting back to adolescence and lashing out. I never spoke with her after the affair (I knew her, she was  colleague of my husband's, and I had met her maybe twice, and one time met her husband and kids) so I have no idea what she has to say about it. The last time she spoke with DH, he says it was a few months after the physical part of the affair had ended and they both basically told each other they had a made a major mistake and agreed never to speak again.

Anyway, my only point was to say thank for sharing your experience as the OW and like I said, at least you could chalk it up as a mistake you made as a young woman.[/quote]

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