Reply to What type of women have emotional/physical affairs with married men?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] - at first the OW is treated pretty well but[b] affairs tend to follow the same pattern and it gets ugly[/b].

The thing is, the man is manipulating and lying to his wife in order to get away with it, and it's silly to think he is not manipulating and lying to the OW. He was, big time. My husband said that in hindsight, the whole thing felt like pretend. The relationship was not really grounded in reality and it required a lot of reinventing reality.

A great book on this is called "Being the Other Woman" and its by a journalist who was an OW and interviewed dozens of OWs for her book. There are definite similiarities in that all OWs did have some sort of trauma. In my OW's case, [b]her first husband cheated on her and left her.[/b]  [/quote]

What is the pattern?  Does it follow the same pattern even if the dh and OW tell each other "I love you".

In my case, the OW's husband did leave her after almost 2 decades of marriage.  She married young (before graduating college) and had married divorced man twice her age. [/quote]

Yeah, the pattern is that an affair is an escape from reality. If you read the posts above most are saying they just want an escape in some form or another. The problem is reality usually intervenes at some point. Often, the affair starts out as "safe" in terms of no strings attached, but someone usually the woman wants more over time or people demand more of their needs are met so they start fighting etc. and getting more demanding. [/quote]

Dh had mentioned to a friend that this was an escape earlier in the affair but since then they have exchanged "I love you". I'd love to witness the fighting and gloat!! [/quote]

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