Reply to Do you think parents who volunteer and donate more to schools deserve better treatment for their child?

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Reply to "Do you think parents who volunteer and donate more to schools deserve better treatment for their child?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a blanket statement, no.  Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe [b]if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording[/b] to show to the backstage mom afterwords.[/quote]

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism [/quote]

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on.  I am completely fine with that.  Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.  [/quote]

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already. [/quote][/quote]

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper. [/quote]

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

[/quote]

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation".  It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school.  Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.[/quote]

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.[/quote]

This.  I donate and volunteer.  I do get the benefit of knowing my kid's teacher but expecting the way to be paved for my kid because I volunteer is insane and entitled.  And a terrible way to raise your kids.

Teaching your kids they have to put the work in is parenting 101.[/quote]

Yes. Usually the kids of the volunteer parents are also good students who are putting in the hard work. Be it in academics, or sports, or theatre or other ECs.  Parents tend to volunteer in events that their kids are participating in.  I guess weirdo taker parents don't know that. [/quote]

So which is it, do your kids naturally do more or are you expecting better treatment?

Calling other parents "takers" shows a really nasty and entitled attitude.  You don’t know what's going on with people.

For instance my husband has been coaching little league for a bit now.  A) My son still needs to work hard and my husband doesn't just give him better field placement.  B) the year my husband took a break frkm coaching was when his mom was dying of cancer and he had to travel to take her to surgeries and doctor's appointments.

Volunteer because you want to and because you want to get to know your kid's school.  Expecting your kid to get graded better or get the lead in the musical or whatever when they haven't earned it is toxic.[/quote]

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