Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

And, now PP, you’re grasping for straws.

In theory, it would be nice if everyone in school paid a fee in the to cover all student expenses volunteer efforts and donations provide for …. And some schools do that. Or hell, make it a co-op and have a volunteer hours requirement for every family. Then, anything above and beyond is icing. Idk if that would ever work in public schools but I wouldn’t mind it in our extracurriculars where there is heavy parent influence on decision-makers and many kids go unseen for years.

If you think volunteers deserve perks and better treatment than people without extra time, thats up to you. Own it. Say you think rich people deserve more than poor people.

The statement above doesn’t make sense in reply to the PP. Noting that different families contribute in different ways is not an endorsement of perks for volunteers. It’s a basic observation about how parent involvement plays out across schools and activities.

What I actually said was that some communities use standardized fees or required volunteer hours to distribute the workload evenly. That’s a structural model, not a “rich people deserve more” philosophy. If you’re going to assign motives, at least anchor them in what was written rather than in a narrative you’ve created. And, I suggested taking a co-op model. What do you suggest as the solution to your issues with volunteerism?

Your proposal boils down to assessing a fee in either money or time for a free public service. If you are in a private school setting, then that may be appropriate. In a public school context the people with the least money are often. Also the people with the least time— they call it “the leisured classes” for a reason.

It is better for a school, not to have a play then to have a play staffed by parents who are expecting kickbacks.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

I get the feeling you’re like one of the volunteers at a fundraiser I run each year. Every year, I have to kindly remind her that her children may not take books from the fundraiser for free even if she is a volunteer.

No, dear. Your feeling is all wrong. And it is because of the company you keep. You have parents in your school who take books for "free" ? Tsk, tsk. This is poverty mentality.

The parent volunteers in our school who helped with book-fairs were buying books to donate to teachers, and to give to students who did not have money to buy books. They were also donating books from their own collection to keep the four LFLs in our school replenished.

Poverty is a not a virtue, it is a curse.

My experience is it's the rich parents who tend to steal the most. I went to private school as a kid and there were plenty of extremely wealthy kids who would steal things.

Your posts really come across as "I hate poor people." And it's extremely trashy.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

I get the feeling you’re like one of the volunteers at a fundraiser I run each year. Every year, I have to kindly remind her that her children may not take books from the fundraiser for free even if she is a volunteer.

No, dear. Your feeling is all wrong. And it is because of the company you keep. You have parents in your school who take books for "free" ? Tsk, tsk. This is poverty mentality.

The parent volunteers in our school who helped with book-fairs were buying books to donate to teachers, and to give to students who did not have money to buy books. They were also donating books from their own collection to keep the four LFLs in our school replenished.

Poverty is a not a virtue, it is a curse.

Sadly, I've had the experience of working with controlling and mean parents who not only try to get the best for their kids but actively gossip about others and create programs that leave out other kids. Over the experience of about 10 years at the elementary school I would run into parents, who made volunteering and subbing a full-time job, gossiping about other kids, moms, and teachers inside the school and even at PTA meetings publicly. Creating programs that only benefitted the wealthy such as party for the class whose parents bring in the most money. Programs that would mainly benefit whatever activity their kid was in. It's not just about better treatment for their child. Some parents use their time to actively put down others or manipulate the school so that it mainly benefits them in a way that goes beyond just having a good teacher.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

And, now PP, you’re grasping for straws.

In theory, it would be nice if everyone in school paid a fee in the to cover all student expenses volunteer efforts and donations provide for …. And some schools do that. Or hell, make it a co-op and have a volunteer hours requirement for every family. Then, anything above and beyond is icing. Idk if that would ever work in public schools but I wouldn’t mind it in our extracurriculars where there is heavy parent influence on decision-makers and many kids go unseen for years.

If you think volunteers deserve perks and better treatment than people without extra time, thats up to you. Own it. Say you think rich people deserve more than poor people.

The statement above doesn’t make sense in reply to the PP. Noting that different families contribute in different ways is not an endorsement of perks for volunteers. It’s a basic observation about how parent involvement plays out across schools and activities.

What I actually said was that some communities use standardized fees or required volunteer hours to distribute the workload evenly. That’s a structural model, not a “rich people deserve more” philosophy. If you’re going to assign motives, at least anchor them in what was written rather than in a narrative you’ve created. And, I suggested taking a co-op model. What do you suggest as the solution to your issues with volunteerism?

Anonymous wrote:No.

When my kids were in elementary, I was part of the PTA executive board and did a lot for the school, but it certainly wasn't to get my kids special treatment.

Same. I primarily volunteered to understand the education system. And since we were in a very rough Title 1 school, just my constant presence in school and as a classroom volunteer, removed my kid from the "prey" category.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

I get the feeling you’re like one of the volunteers at a fundraiser I run each year. Every year, I have to kindly remind her that her children may not take books from the fundraiser for free even if she is a volunteer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

This. I donate and volunteer. I do get the benefit of knowing my kid's teacher but expecting the way to be paved for my kid because I volunteer is insane and entitled. And a terrible way to raise your kids.

Teaching your kids they have to put the work in is parenting 101.

Yes. Usually the kids of the volunteer parents are also good students who are putting in the hard work. Be it in academics, or sports, or theatre or other ECs. Parents tend to volunteer in events that their kids are participating in. I guess weirdo taker parents don't know that.

So which is it, do your kids naturally do more or are you expecting better treatment?

Calling other parents "takers" shows a really nasty and entitled attitude. You don’t know what's going on with people.

For instance my husband has been coaching little league for a bit now. A) My son still needs to work hard and my husband doesn't just give him better field placement. B) the year my husband took a break frkm coaching was when his mom was dying of cancer and he had to travel to take her to surgeries and doctor's appointments.

Volunteer because you want to and because you want to get to know your kid's school. Expecting your kid to get graded better or get the lead in the musical or whatever when they haven't earned it is toxic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

And yet that isn’t what’s happening in the case of the poster who says she just reserved seats for her family. There’s no effort by the school to recognize her. She’s just taking something to recognize herself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Dp. I think that is what usually happens. The school puts up a reserved sign if they do this at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL. Loving how the poors are triggered.

We do not live in a socialist country. We live in effing United States of America. The poors can choose to leave.

Poor or not, we're all free to dislike you.

Ditto. Back at you, cupcake!!

Smart.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

I don't think you do any volunteering. No one is TAKING something for free. The school decides to acknowledge the unpaid work of volunteers because without them the school would not be able to put that show. You seem to be totally unaware of the amount of work that gets done by volunteers. You are the classic example of a "taker" parent. And that is why you are triggered because FOMO.

Anyways...keep on getting triggered. Your petty thinking is not going to change anything and it is amusing to think that you will continue to get triggered by your own thoughts.

The school didn’t decide anything. The poster said she takes four seats in the front row. That’s…taking. If the school wanted to recognize her, they would put little signs in it that said “save for the family of Mrs. Smith, the bestest volunteer in the whole wide world”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

This. I donate and volunteer. I do get the benefit of knowing my kid's teacher but expecting the way to be paved for my kid because I volunteer is insane and entitled. And a terrible way to raise your kids.

Teaching your kids they have to put the work in is parenting 101.

Yes. Usually the kids of the volunteer parents are also good students who are putting in the hard work. Be it in academics, or sports, or theatre or other ECs. Parents tend to volunteer in events that their kids are participating in. I guess weirdo taker parents don't know that.

Yes and no. I also ran into volunteers who were parents of really rambunctious kids. Which I appreciated, because they typically volunteered for field trips and other situations where they could curb their own kid.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. They deserve better treatment because this is a hierarchical society. Either give money. Or give time. Or have your kids do well in school and not be disruptive low-performing students

Can your kids come to school on time? Are they clean, well-fed, ready to learn? Can they follow rules and can they be respectful?

Sometimes. They have a few significant developmental challenges. It’s getting better though. I didn’t realize we needed to be loaded and or neurotypical to have value. Wild.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a blanket statement, no. Some students have parents who are working 2 jobs, or are in foster care, and they should absolutely not be penalized for not having basically a SAHP who can volunteer 10 hours a week or a rich parent who can fund the entire PTA.

If we are allowed nuance- I do think that if a parent is an unusually helpful volunteer, or takes on volunteer tasks that one one wants (everyone wants to chaperone the cute half day field trip with their child, no one wants to volunteer to mop the cafeteria floors and take all the trash to the dump after the school carnival ends at 9pm), it should not be frowned upon if that kid's family maybe gets picked to run the most fun carnival booth, or maybe if a parent volunteers to be the backstage mom at a drama club performance- therefore not getting to watch her child perform, since she's backstage, this is a classic job that no one signs up for ever in our school's drama club- then that student's family (the other parent, etc) gets front row seats to the performance and a free copy of the DVD recording to show to the backstage mom afterwords.

So if you miss your kids performing because you have time to volunteer, you should get preferential treatment but if you have to earn money and miss it, tough.

That is pretty gross classism

It's because she VOLUNTEERED to miss her kid's performance in order to help the show go on. I am completely fine with that. Like how airlines offer you a few hundred bucks to give up your seat and take a different flight later in the day if they're overbooked.

Because people like that volunteer, your kid gets to be in the play, musical, performance, whatever. There is zero acknowledgment or gratitude from people like you. Your kid gets the experience and you don't have to do a thing and then you want to begrudge a small perk or token of gratitude from others? Sounds pretty selfish.

She VOLUNTEERED because she has the resources to do so. No job/flexible job. I don’t think we should give people with more resources more perks, as they have plenty already.

Dude - she has MORE RESOURCES because she worked hard all her life to create these resources for herself and her family.

A well-to-do mom in DMV with flex job/no job who is able to prioritize her kids was probably that good student in HS who was busting her ass studying Calc in HS instead of giving BJs to the loser behind the bleachers. Her high SES, her marriage, her 2 kids, her cleaning lady, her education, her net worth, her involvement with PTA, school theatre, kids EC activities...she has earned it all.

You have to pay the piper.

Ok? That doesn’t mean she had earned extra perks for volunteering or that she deserves front row seats for her family and a free DVD. If you’re being compensated its not volunteering.

It is not "extra perks" or "compensation". It is a courtesy and acknowledgement by school that volunteers do a lot of heavy lifting for the entire school. Lazy entitled parents who are just takers and are uncouth enough to question this are just POS.

… you’re getting a freebie. You can call it a “courtesy copy” or “acknowledgement” but you’re asking for something other people either don’t get or pay for.

I do plenty of volunteering, but would never think of taking something for free to “recognize” my work. That’s what’s uncouth.

This. I donate and volunteer. I do get the benefit of knowing my kid's teacher but expecting the way to be paved for my kid because I volunteer is insane and entitled. And a terrible way to raise your kids.

Teaching your kids they have to put the work in is parenting 101.

Yes. Usually the kids of the volunteer parents are also good students who are putting in the hard work. Be it in academics, or sports, or theatre or other ECs. Parents tend to volunteer in events that their kids are participating in. I guess weirdo taker parents don't know that.