Reply to What are the tell-tale signs of a good guy?

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[quote=Anonymous]My husband is a good guy, with some pain and baggage from a dysfunctional family.  The baggage made things hard, but the traits I noticed early on meant that he was willing and, eventually, able to resolve these issues.

When we talked about our pasts, he was invariably respectful towards his past girlfriends.  I got a clear picture of their intelligence and character, not superficial qualities.  Even with actors, etc., he notices looks but responds to character.  I was considered very pretty and got a lot of superficial male attention, so it meant a lot to me that he wouldn't pursue me for that reason alone.  I'm not worried about growing older with this guy, either.

He was tender with me when I was sick, and was sensitive and thoughtful when some humiliating medical problems developed early in the relationship.  He was also amazing with my grandma when I needed his help with her personal care.  This was only about three months in and it was just very clear to me that a man who could handle that with such respect and kindness was marriage material.

His mother is horrible.  She's just really a disturbed mess, and a lot of people would cut her off.  He has boundaries with her, but treats her with respect and kindness.  Same with the rest of his train wreck family.  He hasn't abandoned them, but he's not caught up in their drama, either.

Was great with my younger siblings, gets along well with them now that they're grown.  Has the respect of my parents.

Tips well.  Treats his employees like family.  Encourages and supports people even when it means he'll lose a great employee.

Nice to my friends, even the ones he doesn't particularly like.  And he's always been right about them.

Fixes, cleans up, lifts heavy things without complaint, but has always encouraged me to develop more competence.  Raises our child without gender constraints and is an unusually engaged dad.

Is a one-woman man.  Is dedicated to me and his family and could not care less if some idiot thinks he's whipped.  He's a big, manly guy, and I love the stereotype-busting.

Is never selfish in bed.  Ever.  Which makes me want to please him even more.

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