Reply to Do some parents just have bad luck in the kid department?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it's nature and nurture. I also think sometimes parents are well suited to their kids natural personalities and other times not, and when there is conflict, it can all go wrong.

But I also think that people who are more flexible and adaptable tend to make better parents in general, because this enables them to be the parent their kids need. Then you don't have to just get lucky with kids suited to your personality, because you have the skills to make it work with any kids.[/quote]

Agree.

I used to think I had the easiest kids on the planet- and I did until the oldest was 15.  Then she became the hardest person to parent- the ultimate people pleaser who won’t self advocate.  I have no idea where this comes from - I’m so direct it’s off putting to some and I didnt raise a people pleaser.  Then I look at my husband’s sister - she’s basically a doormat or wet blanket.  I don’t know how to parent this behavior and find myself constantly frustrated with my daughter .  I fundamentally cannot understand why she chooses the friends she does or won’t push back against a teacher (or even me) when she knows she’s right.  So, yeah, I’m totally ill equipped for this type of kid.  My other kids do self advocate and are not this way, which is easier for me as a parent.  I do love them the same but find myself more actively managing my older daughter’s anxiety, social skills, perfectionism, and people pleasing tendencies.

Some nature, some nurture, and some is just personality.[/quote]

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