Reply to Do you tolerate strangers calling you “sweetie, doll, dear” etc

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I suppose the male equivalent is being called dude.

Most people in this country are working class to lower middle class, not uptight professionals. I agree context matters a lot, but the people upset at the Stetson poster calling attendants darling or ma'am really don't realize how much of it comes down to delivery and charm and why he gets away with it. I've seen it in action and the recipient is always charmed and usually giggles a bit. [/quote]

It’s equivalent to calling a  “little guy”

What can I get you little guys to drink.

Or sport, champ, or buddy.

Hey buddy, are you ready to order. Nice choice champ.
[/quote]

Most of the people who use "sweetie", "hun", or "dear" use them indiscriminately on people of both genders. Like the vast majority of people saying this stuff are older women in service jobs (often black women) and they will 100% sweetie my husband the same way they do me. So that should tell you right there what the intent is.

But also, even in a situation where we will assume you are right, and they only do this to women and it is in fact diminishing... these are women with very low status. Often older women. They aren't doing it to attack you, personally. They are doing it because they were raised in a culture where you defer to men and you baby women. It's social conditioning, not a personal attack.

In the tiny number of situations where the person who says this to you [b]is actually high status, you are free to read them the riot act.[/b] Getting mad at waitresses and ladies working retail sales over this is crazy.[/quote]

This is the stuff of "irrational, emotional" stereotypes of women.  If someone "read me the riot act" because I grew up in the midwest where this was common, I would think they were psychotic.[/quote]

You too can change now that you know better. It is extremely condescending and patronizing to call grown women (and men) sweetie, honey, darling, etc. [/quote]

NP.  OR....... you can change your opinion! I see nothing wrong with it. I may not do it myself, but I'm certainly not offended, nor do I find it "condescending and patronizing" to refer to grown women and men this way.

Bless your little heart.[/quote]

I never do this because the way it's thrown around on DCUM makes it lose all meaning. But if you use this terminology, you are low class and everyone other than you knows it. [/quote]

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