Reply to My Parents Are Useless: In-laws Are Great :(

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your parents are not your free babysitters. They already raised their kids. Stop expecting them to do your work for you. You had the kids, you raise them. We never had help with our kids from the grandparents due to their age and health issues. That doesn't mean they didn't love their grandchildren. Grandparents should just be able to spend time enjoying their grandkids.[/quote]

I get so tired of this argument. I think OP needs to be grateful for her ILs and drop the rope with her parents, but also she's clearly not looking for free babysitting or for her parents to raise her kids. She's looking for involved grandparents who want to have meaningful relationships with their grandchildren and be a part of the family. That is totally understandable.

I've literally never asked my parents to babysit for us, it's not on my radar. But my dad has ZERO interest in my kids and I think it's sad. He wants to be adored as a grandpa (and will express upset or anger if my kids don't greet him super enthusiastically or give him hugs when he wants them), but he's literally never asked either of my kids a single question about themselves or made any effort to get to know them.

He was also like this as a father, I think he's just a self absorbed person who doesn't have the empathy or communication skills to have real relationships. I have accepted this and moved on, but that doesn't mean that if I expressed disappointment in this situation it would mean I expect my dad to raise my kids for me or that I'm just pouting about not getting free childcare.

Once I took my kids out to a restaurant with my dad and the waitress just kind of fell in love with my kids (they were at particularly cute stages and were being extra charming that day) and I watched her joke with them and dote on them while my dad was oblivious to the whole thing and I remember just thinking it was so sad that this complete stranger was having a more rewarding interaction with my kids (on both sides) than my dad had ever had. I think that's what OP is expressing here.[/quote]

Thank you finally someone understandsp my situation. It’s just disappointing. When they come to vsist on a rare occasion, they spend 90% of their time not with grandkids and then just take Instagram photos of my kids. It’s basically like they are using my house a free hotel when NBA and PGA events are nearby, then pretend like they are here for the grandkids. [/quote]

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