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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the same wife. Why do I hate that he goes to meetings. Why didn’t I know he needed them. We are not the same anymore and I resent him admitting he needs aa!!! He relates with the people there… wait what about me. It’s ruining us quickly!  Only been 2 months in aa. He just decided to quit cold turkey 500+ days ago and I never knew he had a problem. [b] Is this just an attention thing for him?[/b]  I’m at a loss for us… he talks to me like he’s the counselor and I want to throat punch him.  I seriously blame our “new” problems on AA.  His new friends. Not mine. His need to go and without me. [/quote]

I'm sorry.

Obviously I don't know what is going on with your DH. But I can tell you I decided to leave instead of marry a guy who spent too much time at AA meetings and hanging out with AA people -- and I believe he did this in large part because he liked the attention and the status he had there (he had a lot of years sober relatively young). Attention and status he wasn't going to get anywhere else. In that crowd he seemed to be successful and really have it together. In real life, not at all. Everything is relative, I guess.

I finally called it quits after I got a job that started early in the morning and he was constantly coming home around 2am or so because he had been out with his AA friends. In any normal relationship, you could have a normal conversation about this being an issue; but I just got constant blowback about how "This is the fellowship! I need this, I'm not just 'out'!" But you are just out until 2am, dude, even if none of you are drinking anything but soda water.

He married the woman he dated after me. They were divorced within 5 years, two little kids in the mix. Thanks to SM, I know he's had failed ltr after ltr. It doesn't surprise me at all. [/quote]

AA member here.  He needs a good sponsor to kick his butt.  Lots of alcoholics are selfish people who don't think of others. Lots of alcoholics have personality disorders.  Getting sober doesn't fix that.  Therapy and lots of work fixes that.  When you sober up a drunk horse thief what you get is a sober horse thief.  Real behavior changes also need to happen and that takes a lot of work.

I's sorry that happened to you. [/quote]

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