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[quote=Anonymous]
My mom is a non-hand washer but ingrained all of the above in me. Add never, ever put a container on the dining table even if it’s just a family lunch. Also, pull the shades up as soon as you wake up or else people will think you are rude or lazy.

Once in a while DH turns on an overhead light in his office and I have to restrain myself from yelling at him. Our hands might be covered in germs but we can’t have people seeing that from the street and and thinking we are poor heathens![/quote]

I'm so confused. What is wrong with overhead lights? I thought I was raised with all the etiquette, but my parents missed this one.[/quote]

I was taught they’re tacky and low-rent and [b]make you look like you were raised in a trailer[/b]. Outside of the kitchen, we never used the overhead lights in our home - to this day they bother me and I don’t turn them off. It’s lamp lighting ONLY. I am not saying I care if anyone else uses overhead lights or that this is right, just that these were the kinds of “civilized details” OP laments not knowing that my mom taught me while otherwise leading a very disastrous life and not teaching important things because she didn’t know them. [/quote]
What's wrong with being raised in a trailer?[/quote]

Indeed, if that's your preference, do so.  And please confirm to criticize those of us who choose otherwise.  [/quote]

NP. Gently, I think the PP is calling you (or your mother) out a bit on classism. Most people who live in trailers do not "choose to do so." They do so out of financial necessity. It's all very well to eschew overhead lighting, but being cruel to people who are already down makes you look much worse than harsh lighting ever could. [/quote]

No, she is explicitly calling out classism in others, while most likely being classist herself.  Like the Arlington or Bethesda moms who want to bus "poor kids" to good schools as long as they aren't bused to their kids' schools.

"Hate has no home here." And neither do "the poors".[/quote]

I just have to wonder why you are on a board that obviously caters to those with means ( no judgement ) and wanting to turn every thread into an anti-poverty thread?  You are obviously triggered by your upbringing and insistent on taking an innocent conversation and turning it into some type of privilege war, please stop.  I grew up in a lower income household and watched my parents and family struggle, both financially and mentally.  I worked hard to reverse those trends in my personal life and work hard every singly day to move forward in a positive light even with the "mean girl" stuff thrown at me by my own family while putting myself through school.  I want better for my children, I want better for everyone, even for you.  This site helps people like me, and exposes me to everyday things I never was exposed to and yes, actually provides some great advice on moving on in this world.  I cannot look at everything through a poor, pity me filter as my children would pick up on that and I want to do better than my parents did in turning my children into  good people who contributed to society in a positive light.  You could do better to stop placing yourself in situation where you are so triggered, these people are not bad people.  Mispoken sometimes, yes, but not ill intentioned in their hearts.  Find some grace and take a pause before you react.[/quote]

Everyone should stop a minute and read this post. It is the most graceful and kind post I've seen on DCUM in a very long time. Read it and absorb it people. [/quote]

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