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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1) Do a Swedish Death Cleanse before you are 62.  Declutter and become minimalistic, even if you are going to age in place.

2) Sell off all real estate that requires your care and maintainence, except the one you are staying at. Unless the , the real estate is earning for you and can be easily maintained by you.

3) Help ALL the kids for the following. Priortize in this order.
- college, 
- childcare, 
- car, 
- seed money for downpayment for business, wedding, home 
to the best of your financial abilities so that they are independent and flourishing.  They will be in a position to help you if you or your spouse need help. Practise Tough Love and [b]cut off children if they have[/b] addiction or [b]mental health issues. [/b]

4) Help your siblings with the above help  if there is need and make sure they are independent and flourishing.  This will make them partner in the care of your own elderly parents.   Again, practise Tough Love if there is addiction or mental health issues.

5) All legal paperwork done and explained to children.  POA, Will, Trust etc.  Watch out against fraud, keep an eye on your credit report, don't have extra credit cards etc.

6) Does not matter if you financially help a kid more or less, BUT, you must divvy up your estate equally so that after your death there is no ill-will among your kids.

7) Keeo active, keep socially engaged, take care of your health, make full use of health benefits.

8) Have a team of people who can help with the care of your house, yard, cars, home security chores that can be outsourced.

9) Have systems in place so that you can age in place. That could be - 
- CCTV inside, ring cam, Monitored alarm system
- Installing an ensuite bathroom in the main floor
- Having a suite on the main floor for attendent, in-laws
- Installing elevators if possible
- Installing a ramp for wheelchairs.

10) Being able to live in a elder community, group living, condo, or multigen household if needed and making the change earlier rather than later.  Understand that retirement is not going to stationary living in one place and you just fade away. The retirement plans can never take into account the whole gamut of frequent and drastic changes in living situations that happen IRL.

11) Understand deeply that when you age physically, your senses and mind also ages and u will not be able to make the decisions that you can make when you are younger. Fear, confusion and paronoia sets in too. Make decisions for old age when you can still do it.

[/quote]

Savage.   
Their mental health issues are likely due to something they experienced or went untreated  under their parents care.[/quote]

If that is the case, then the addict adult child with personality disorders is not in a position to help the parents in any case and feels anger and hatred towards them.  In such a case, being  estranged, [b]gray rocking[/b] or cutting them off is good for both parties.  I don't understand why you are so triggered?  Your parents were mean to you? Then walk away.  Why do you care about their money, home and assets?  J[/quote]

What is gray rocking?[/quote]

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