Reply to Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a reason for why one spouse chose not to work or works from home/at a flexible part time job? Or is this an acceptable turn of phrase? [/quote]

It's an absolutely valid statement. Many of my friends didn't want their children to be raised by strangers, some had the privilege to do it themselves or get family to support while others had to send them to daycare or leave them with nannies.[/quote]

It might be shocking to the SAHP crew,  but have you ever considered it’s actually developmentally superior for a few hours of the day for the child not to be attached to the parent at the hip?[/quote]

Depends on age of child. A three year old -- yes. And infant -- not really. It's not *bad* for the infant as long as whoever they are with is also a loving and attentive caregiver. But no it is not bad for babies under age 1 to spend all their time with their parents and it's definitely superior to any situation in which they will be spending any signficant amount of time without 1:1 attention and contact.

A lot of SAHPs put kids in play groups or part-time preschool starting at age 2 or even 18 mo specifically to start helping them socialize and get through stuff like separation anxiety. But no if you tell someone "maybe it would be good for your 6 months old to spend some time away from you" you sound dumb. Again that doesn't mean a baby spending the day with a great nanny or a grandparent or at really good daycare with 1:1 ratios is getting substandard care -- they aren't. But the baby at home with the SAHP (assuming the SAHP is engaged and attentive) is also getting top level care from a developmental standpoint. It's ideal.[/quote]

Nobody said "bad" but it is "superior" for even a baby/infant to have access to "others" during their infant time. Also it is good for moms to have a break, be rested, etc to be a (as you put it) loving and caring caregiver. It's also superior for dad to be home and not working 60 hours a week and never bonding with an infant.

An infant with a mom with a 2 year old and a 5 year old is not giving them nearly as much 1-1 attention as a day care who only can have 2 infants. [/quote]

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