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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is enlightening to see how many believe that a woman can not claim to be abused if her husband can justify berating, scolding, screaming, yelling at her by identifying things she did or didn't do that led to his frustration and behaviour.

It is interesting as on many threads where a woman says her husband was screaming, yelling, berating her...people call it abuse. They don't ask but did you do anything or not do anything that led to him being frustrated or overwhelmed - is their something in your relationship dynamic that explains why he has no choice but to act that way.

I wonder if we will see more comments saying the same as this thread that if she is the cause (via action or inaction) of his frustration - then it isn't abuse.[/quote]

It’s behavior, incel. We’re in the US.[/quote]

PP has a valid point and you weren’t able to formulate a better response than this? Safe to say your side lost. Maybe you can vent your frustration by screaming at your DH and kids. Your anger is always justified right?[/quote]

PP is not in the US or American and wants to lecture women on how to deal with husbands? I wonder what egalitarian place that wonderful PP is posting from. 
[/quote]

I am a woman and I come from the wonderful egalitarian place called Canada, and can see the US in the distance from my back window! I was not lecturing women on how to deal with husbands. I was commenting on the thread about the many comments justifying abusive behaviour based on the actions of the spouse. Men or women - I feel the same. Same sex or opposite sex - man to woman or woman to man. If you have an issue with that post, you should also have an issue with all the similar posts with the sexes changed. And you still don't seem to know what an incel is. It isn't women who disagree with you. [/quote]

how is yelling at someone being “abusive”? if you can see a woman yelling at her husband once and conclude she is the abusive one, that is quite something. maybe you’d seem like less of an incel if you didn’t focus exclusively on ways to blame women … [/quote]

Do you have a point? If you are just going to continually justify why its okay for you to shout and yell and berate your husband and yes that is abuse, you will get support on here to be as nasty to him as you want...but not from me. I feel the same about men abusing women as I do about women abusing men and I won't support either. I don't really care how much you think spouses desrve to be abused. I don't. Adults can make other choices if they are in a really unhealthy dyanamic. Turning to abuse is not the answer for anyone. [/quote]

do YOU have a point other than to bash women

there was an interesting discussion to be had here about how women deal with dysfunctional spouses and parenting stress vs women who are in fact abusive. but impossible to have with the current crop of DCUM incels.

I’ll just say I’ve seen many sides. A nasty BPD stepmother who used screaming and tantrums to get her way - although come to think of it most of her techniques didn’t require yelling. In myself when I am trying to get something done (shouldering the entire burden as per usual) and DS or DH mucks it up. And an actually abusive situation where the man used yelling just like a barking dog, to singal he would bite if we didn’t back down.

Unless you actually know more about the  dynamic it’s fairly hard to tell what’s going on, unless the one incident is really bad (like, name calling or really extended or yelling at a small child.) There also are cultural norms involved too. [/quote]

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