Reply to Can someone explain the mentality of never being proactive or organized to me?

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Reply to "Can someone explain the mentality of never being proactive or organized to me?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]ADHD is literally poor executive functioning. This task would have taken multiple executive functions: planning, organization, making goals, task initiation, time management, flexibility to deal with you being gone, problem solving (actually he did that, just not how you would have), maybe self-restraint. It's everything he struggles with.[/quote]

Right, so this is a problem the husband needs to solve. Yes, it seems Insurmountable to him but I'm guessing he has the tools and knowledge to get it done. He just doesn't want to put in the extra effort.

We all figure out how to do the things we struggle with, ADHD or not. Like I used to tell my toddler, it's hard but you can do it. [/quote]

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.  Seriously, did we read a different post at the start of this thread?

The guy DID solve the problem.  He figured it out.  He accomplished the task.  He got it done.  Did he do a great job?  No.  Did he do an adequate job?  YES!

OP may be an A+ student and her husband is a C student.  But at the end of the day, they both pass the course.[/quote]

not if he half-*sses it every single time. and most parents aspire for more than a C for their kids. [/quote]

Incorrect.  If one does C caliber work every single time, one receives a C )not an F).

And if one wants to procreate and parent with fellow A+ students, they need to marry one.  Not choose a C student and then complain that he doesn’t take academics as seriously as you think he should.

And while we’re on this grading analogy: some students are A+ in high school, when the work is easy and there is a lot of imposed structure in place.  Some of these people go on to eventually become C students in University, through a combination of more difficult work (in the marriage analogy, this might be adding kids), and/or the lack of imposed structure (being an adult).  The ADHD adult is like the bright student that eventually runs into academic work that is just too difficult.  No amount of telling them that they’re lazy or that they should just study harder is going to make them understand material that is beyond their grasp.[/quote]

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