Reply to Boyfriend telling me to pay for stuff

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Imagine having kids with him and every expense is a tit for tat. Someone who is so vocally equitable isn’t going to magically throw their money into a joint account and that’s how you pay for bills and soccer and cleats and tutoring. You’ll be fighting over who is responsible for each and every thing for the rest of your life.

Move on. The longer you stay, the more you lessen your chances of finding a solid man to marry, to have kids with, etc. At 31, you should be dating intentionally, but not dating to your detriment.[/quote]

This is an excellent point. Take this new information about him and apply it theoretically to how he would handle [i]family[/i] finances, OP. As with dating you, will he start out acting as if there are no worries about who pays for what, and then suddenly begin score-keeping? What if he signals that he's fine with, say, your staying home with kid(s) and then later you find out he resents you for "not contributing financially" and other bean-counting you didn't even know was going on in his head? I say this as a DW whose husband has always been-- before and after kids--100 percent about "It's our money, not 'my' money." You don't want anything less than a partner who has that attitude. And the attitude should be the same if the woman makes more money and the man makes less or the man stays home! [/quote]

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