Reply to Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents

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Reply to "Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I get it, We have these dynamics. i get it and I agree with the person who said "don't get in the sandbox."

In a health family, you deal with someone having a disability by getting the person diagnosed and getting the person help. You don't pretend there isn't an issue and get annoyed when it rears it's ugly head.

My mother enables my sister like crazy and pays for things and she was actually the favorite. They used to brag about how brilliant she was and normalize her mild paranoia, her revenge fantasies against anyone she though was a threat, her mood instability, etc.

Now that the mental health issues have made her unemployed, struggling to have friends and never able to maintain a stable romantic relationship there is a whole victim narrative created and anyone who won't play along is bad. My mother coddles her and then tries to dump her on me, my husband and kids and I refuse to play along. She needs help. The rare time she has been in therapy and medicated I can have a relationship with her, but my mom goes along with her delusion that she is fine and everything is the world's fault. So now my mother isn't speaking to me, because she cannot dump my sister on me and my family. She no longer has the patience to coddle and she just refuses to accept she has a daughter with serious mental health issues who only can function well if she is in treatment.[/quote]

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