Reply to Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents

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Reply to "Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents"

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[quote=Anonymous]It’s always hard to give advice without both sides. I can understand the frustration if you feel he is freeloading off your parents. It’s hard to see your parents supporting him when you have always been independent. But as a parent myself, i don’t do things equally because my kids needs are so different. Sometimes fair is not equal.  He sounds like he has a disability and needs support.  In many families these things are swept under the rug. Perhaps your parents know more than they let on to you. Or maybe even they don’t have a diagnosis because 20-30 years ago it was far less likely for kids to get extensive testing and far less was understood about autism.

It’s good you cut off the questioning quickly. It could be that he is very self-conscious and sensitive. Yet, I do find it unusual that your 7 year old questioned him once it was clear he wasn’t working, unless he had picked up on things he heard other adults say. My kids, even at that age, didn’t care what people did for work. They were aware that not every adult in our circle or the community had a job and it could be for many different reasons.  Even as teens, they had an older cousin who couldn’t hold down a job and lived at home and never once did I hear them question him as to why. He was just their cousin. [/quote]

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