Reply to Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents

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Reply to "Vent: My son unintentionally shamed my brother, who then "told on me" to our parents"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]1. Your son did nothing wrong. 
2. You were right to put a stop to the interrogation. You did nothing wrong.
3. You were right to say what you did to your parents. You did nothing wrong.

Most people like your brother have undiagnosed, untreated, mental health disorders. They are too old to change much, unfortunately. The most common disorder is autism, which comes with all sorts of executive function issues, mental rigidity, social anxiety and OCD. Usually it's one of the latter symptoms that people see. ADHD and anxiety can be medicated, but autism needs to be addressed behaviorally from a young age, because there's no medication and you can only build social skills and life habits, not change the  underlying neurodivergence. If your brother is also tired, maybe he has a physical condition, such as sleep apnea. He should consult his doctor, if he can be persuaded to do so.[/quote]

YOur 7 year old did nothing wrong. Your brother needs to stop being butt hurt about what a 7 year old says, and maybe actually listen to the 7 yr old. Kids will call it as they see it. Hmmmm, my parents are adults and they work, why doesnt my uncle? It's not that hard.

[b]If the brother has mental health issues, your parents aren't doing any favors to him by not stepping in and doing something about it.[/b] All they are doing is perpetuating the fragility and when your parents are gone, guess who will be expected to fix it? You.  And noone is going to have the capacity to hear "i told you so" from you, even though you are right[/quote]

OP, and you, have no idea what their dynamic is or what they are doing to help their son.  Yes, some parents are enabling and allow adult children to mooch off them.  Others are working privately to encourage therapy or medication (potentially meeting resistance, so a work in progress) or gaining government assistance etc etc.  The issue here is that OP is completely disconnected from her brother by her own admission so she doesn’t really know.  All she knows is that he gets financial assistance from her parents and doesn’t work.[/quote]

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