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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think DH should tell friend exactly what happened, that you know and are struggling with the information and whether to tell wife.  Maybe that will compel friend to come clean or end the affair.[/quote]

After reading all the responses, I think this is the plan. Of course Best Friend could always lie about what he will or won’t do, but I’ve no wish to be further involved much less play private investigator. Unfortunately, this also means my friendship with this couple is over, as I can’t rightly count myself a friend to the wife in choosing to keep this from her and I’ve lost all respect for the husband.[/quote]

I agree this is the probably the best you can do in this situation.  I'm sorry OP.  This is sad for everyone involved.[/quote]

I think this is the worst decision. It puts OP's DH in the awkward position of telling his friend that he told OP. The friend isn't going to tell his wife. But it will certainly make things awkward and probably kill the friendship for all involved without even delivering the info to the wife.

OP should just keep it to herself, as should OP's DH. Let these folks work out their own situation. I agree with the PP that I would NOT want to hear about this from a friend. That would only make things worse. Why not let the wife live in peace? I am in the ignorance is bliss camp.[/quote]

Ignorance is bliss?

How nice to live in a fantasy world where you believe your husband is your best friend, loyal and kind - when the reality is his sweet words are a lie, valentines and anniversary gifts are a lie. You are a joke to your husbands gf - and nobody will tell you. Everyone wants to keep it a secret. How lovely![/quote]

GF who has to wait 18 years living in the shadows for something that may or may not ever happen? Believe me, when kids are ready for college there’s no way this guy gives up half his net worth for someone who’s been giving it up all this time for nothing.[/quote]

Not that this is even relevant, but the AP/college girlfriend is independently wealthy, far more so than Best Friend and his DW. DH suspects she will not marry Best Friend, at least not without a prenup, even if Best Friend does eventually get a divorce.[/quote]

All the more reason he won’t be giving up half his net worth to his ex wife to be with the AP that won’t enrich him at all.[/quote]

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