Reply to I am married to a passive, un-masculine man

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Therapy for coping skills or detaching may help too. [/quote]

Therapy should also delve into why OP has such old-school, stereotyped ideas of what is "masculine." She needs to think about why she married him in the first place, what was attractive about him to her then, and why her attitude has changed and/or why he's changed, if he really has. If she's turned off, she's turned off, and it's OK to admit and own that, but unless she wants to divorce over this, they could actually try to work on the marriage, rather than her just resenting him. He might be shocked to hear what she is thinking about him, and might want to talk about it....IF she will actually communicate with him, rather than stewing in her disdain. [/quote]

Don’t bother with that.

Something the H is doing or failing to do is destroying the attraction and relationship. What is it, why is it happening, does she want to make it a deal breaker or not. Up to her.

Personally I cannot stand how my H never has an opinion in anything nor makes a decision. He mens and haws and parrots back a rephrase of the very question I asked or a rehash of the options, as if I’m stupid and don’t know he’s avoiding making a decision. Eg weekend trip or kids swim meet. This private school or that one. Braces or Invisilign.

His indecision or inability to process two things is not attractive.

Now I have to make most family decisions myself, and without talking it over with an actual partner. He doesn’t even read his emails on a topic before “discussing”, so he’s rarely prepared at a basic level. And had nothing to add.

Biggest negative is this is lonely and I have a partner I can’t count on. He avoids discussions, thinking and decisions. He wants no responsibility. [/quote]

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