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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m having trouble imagining that OPs mom was staying alone, getting meals for herself, independently going outside for a walk, then fell and now needs full skilled care nursing home- it’s possible, but not likely.  In a nursing home she will be spending the majority of the day in bed, will not be encouraged to move or maintain what strength she has, and will likely become very depressed very quickly.   
  
I agree with those who say quality of life over longevity.  It sounds like mom wanted to protect the house so she could stay in it, so I feel OP owes it to her mom to at least try home health for 8-12 hours a day.

Assisted living is also an option, but Medicare won’t pay for that and often the family will need to provide a few hours of  personal care/day on top of the monthly rate.

Also agreeing that a nursing home or assisted living provides some relief, but OP should expect to spend time there each week as well as time on the phone handling quite a few things.  Consider, with small children that it might be easier in your own home and an atmosphere you can control to some extent, rather than going to a facility where people in wheel chairs line the halls, call out, moan and yell. OP before making a decision you really should visit and spend some time seeing what life is really like.  
I am not against facilities, depending on the needs, desires and resources the aging parent has, they can be an excellent option.  I have a relative currently moving through the continuum in a CCC from independent to assisted living (after a short stay in rehab) and they are receiving excellent care. They have many friends who visit often and they participate in many activities- classes, concerts, movies, crafts- even though they are not able to live alone.  When/if their money runs out, they will qualify for benevolent care, but they had to sell their home and invest in their future to ensure this was the case.  For them it was an excellent decision.[/quote]

Our mom was in a memory care unit at a non-profit nursing home. The patients were up and out of bed every day in whatever way they could be out of bed - two legs, cane, walker, wheel chair. They ate meals together and those who chose watched TV in a common area, participated in strength building/maintaining activities whether by moving around or what they could do in their recliners, sometimes they just popped balloons back and forth to each other. There were always activities going on in the dining area adjacent to the common area. We were so grateful as neither we nor she had the resources for a CCC - much more daily socialization than she was getting at home when she could no longer drive and didn't trust herself to walk 2 long blocks to a small strip shopping center to grab a bite when it was winter. [/quote]

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