Reply to Predict DW's response when I tell her I would like her to lose some weight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For the record: 
-- the gain I'm talking about increased her weight by 20-25% from her old normal
-- this is not baby weight. The last baby was 9 yars ago. The weight gaining has been only in the past couple years
-- I keep myself trim [/quote]

You are a terrible dh and human being.  Her weight is none of your business.  If you told me this I would totally ignore you.  I am so glad my dh is not like you. ( and I am not fat before anyone fat shames me)  "I keep myself trim" too!  [/quote]
What? I'm a woman, and I feel like of course my body is my sex partner's business just as his is mine. If he gained 50lbs I probably wouldn't want to have sex with him anymore. Especially if they are raising children together, her health is very important to the family.

OP, I'm sympathetic. I have worked hard to prioritize staying slender. My DH struggles more than I do and it kills my desire. I have no idea how to talk to him about it, but I know he's already maxed out with work and raising kids. I think with women, if you just gently hint at it, she might get the picture. Sitting her down will only make her feel like crap. Are your communication skills good and nuanced enough that you can hint at things? Or say you want a family lifestyle change and start meal planning much healthier stuff? Set an example by fasting and telling her how it works for you? Start exercising with her in ways you both enjoy? Ask her to wear something she once fit into but now probably cannot? Most likely she's already not happy with her weight so be very gentle. But all these apologists on here are crazy and this lax attitude about getting fat is part of our country's obesity problem. This isn't gaining 5-15lbs as you age, OP is talking about 30-50lbs which, I'm sorry, does NOT look good on anyone. [/quote]

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