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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]not very chill and ds ended up at a school he would have never found on his own. we used a counselor. I already have a ft job.  no thanks[/quote]

My child might wind up at one she did know about when all is said and done, but the rest of them? That was me.[b] Researching has consumed my spare time for the past year and a half. Yes, I know I'm nuts. You should see my list on my phone[/b]. But, that said, my daughter is happy with the schools I helped her find. There was only ONE she added herself after going to a performing arts event last year.[/quote]

+1 I LOVE to research so was happy to put that skill to work on understanding the college process. I think we were generally "chill" but also involved. Parental involvement doesn't have to = being stressful, intense about the process.

My kids both have ADHD so needed organization coaching through the process but we all get along well and they were fine with me being their EF coach through this. Others find it works better to have an outside counselor do that. Financially, the only reaches we could afford were in-state schools (UVA for one, W&M for another) and neither really wanted to go to either of those, so their lists were very safety/target heavy and they got in everywhere they applied. The process was mostly about understanding what they wanted out of college and ultimately which of their options would work best. It helped me get to know them better.

I'm sorry for parents who say they never read an essay as if that's a virtue. That was my favorite part of the process. I learned so much about my kids, especially my very reticent DS, through reading their essays. [/quote]

I will happily read through my daughter's essay if she asks - actually, we did briefly talk about that a couple weeks ago. I will probably do it this weekend when I ask where she is on her docs for her common app - I know she has been working on it at school with the help of a few teachers and has had her friends read it, too.

My child has ADHD and her grades are not good (high school has been a nightmare, unfortunately, but she is better focused now). Again, she may not get in anywhere, although we have a few places on her list that we are PRETTY sure will admit her (the one with the auto admit at a 2.25 should be a solid yes) Her in state choices are ODU and Radford. That said, I have liked all the schools we have visited together. We were at ODU last weekend for their open house and we had so much fun. It is a shame people are so status driven and just won't even consider it, because it is a very friendly and very diverse place. Every interaction we have had with the school has been great, and my daughter already knows the dance staff from attending their summer intensives the past 2 years.

The research was for both our benefit. Over time, we have made changes and adjusted the list of schools to consider based on new information, her thoughts on what she wants, etc. For me, it was just seeing if she even had a shot at a 4 year school, honestly.

There is an women's college on the list that she never would have considered had I not asked her to trust me. She visited and really loved it and thanked me for taking her.

I'm trying to back off at this point, really. The complicated thing is that she is applying for dance programs and/or scholarships, so those require extra time and coordination. She can't just go on her own several states away. As much as I know rejection will hurt, I'm kind of hoping a few schools say no academically so we can narrow the list further and save ourselves time, money and stress.[/quote]

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