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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why does the budget need to loosen up if you really think you’re going to inherit that much money?

Sounds like money is a proxy for control over each other’s time. [/quote]

Because I don’t expect to see all that money for 20 years and inheritance is never 100% assured.  And college and money towards is mom/brother take up quite a bit of our current income - probably $2K or more month. [/quote]

What is the situation with his brother, is he disabled or serving as a full time carer for your MIL? Is that a lifetime expense or what plan is in place? [/quote]

His mom and brother both has a fairly severe disability and cannot work. [/quote]

Honestly, I would take the mom and brother support out of the question. I think you have enough to discuss just about the inheritances and going back on an agreement. And yes, this is a relationship problem.

[b][quote]If I try to discuss these things he shuts down. [/quote]

This is the heart of the problem. You need to fix this first and foremost.[/b]

After that and on a superficial level, I would say if he wants you to pay back $45k so that he is the sole recipient of his inheritance, then your inheritance becomes solely yours and will not be shared. This is not about exact dollar amounts. This is about respect, communication, equality, and everything that goes along with a healthy relationship. If he does not want to share, then he should not expect others to share with him. This is basic Kindergarten 101.

[/quote]

If they go down this road then OP also should get back her $80K inheritance which she already received and which they already spent.  DH's thinking is just bonkers.[/quote]

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