Reply to I get upset when high-stakes things go wrong, husband doesn't care

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She said “we” asked for a new table.  It isn’t clear that DH asked or she asked.  That’s not validating her feelings, though.  [b]He literally needs to say “it sounds like you are disappointed and it is frustrating when you were hoping for a better table and a great higher out.’ [/b] This is what OP wants to hear, probably.  DH jumping in to fix still doesn’t acknowledge OP’s feelings.  Trust me.  I’ve been DBT and CBT and EFT with my spouse and my teenager.  I tend to problem solve or fix rather than validate.  Am I annoyed that others in my family are not very resilient and I need to do this so much?  Yes. But it also helps them feel heard when I do, and then later I address what I went wrong/how to fix.  [/quote]

Does anyone outside of crappy advice columns actually talk like this to their spouse?

BTW, I do not trust anyone who posts such nonsense.  .  [/quote]

I’m the PP who posted the above.  No one talks like this in real life, but this is how my and DH’s marriage counselor is training us to talk to each other.  I know, it’s exhausting.  [/quote]

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