Reply to Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lesbians get divorced at higher rates than gay men. [b]Women have higher expectations for marriage. [/b]It's as simple as that.[/quote]

I disagree with this -- I think women have unrealistic expectations for marriage, particularly post-kids. They let the intimacy wither and die and then wonder why DH isn't feeling romantic/connected with them. I know lots of women who also make parenting choices that trap them into "Mom does it all" dynamics but they won't do anything to extricate themselves from those patterns because of...anxiety? Control issues? Internalized misogyny?

If you don't tolerate dead bedrooms, and if you don't create parenting dynamics and patterns that trap you into resentment, you're much more likely to have a successful marriage.

-woman[/quote]

Well a man's expectation seems to be that the woman will continue on as normal after kids. They expect women to have as much time for them, to keep their bodies the same, to be just as fun, etc. And they expect themselves to continue on as normal after kids: to have as much fun with the bros, to have as much free time as they did before, etc. Then they also stop being as romantic. The efforts they put in before like dates and gifts get smaller, until they realize that the wife is irritated and then they expect a necklace to fix everything.

I think where women go wrong is that they think marriage will be better for them than it actually is. [/quote]

I do think men have some very unrealitic expectations of life after marriage and kids but the idea that the man needs to be romantic and give her gifts is as sexist and unrealisitc and the man having the expectation she will want to have wild sex every night. As I said in the comment above, both are sexist traditional gender role expectations. Both people need to respect each other and appreciate each other but these old fashioned expectatios about sex and gifts and romance need to go. They are perpetuated by movies and books and porn etc but are not real life. [/quote]

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