Anonymous
05/20/2023 14:49
Subject: Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is related so bear with me:
Back in grad school, I would watch this show called Love Connection (1980s). This is what I observed:
- when the couple was Afro-American, they almost always decided to go on a second date.
- when the couple was working class, about 75% of the time they would go on a second date
- when the couple was Larry the Lawyer and Mary the Marketing MBA, they almost never picked each other for a second date.
Simple, the higher the education, the higher the expectations. The more divorces, though that 90% seems way too high.
Latino couples today don't tend to be as arrogant as other race people may be. My Salvadoran friend has a masters degree but she married a Hispanic guy who only had a high school degree. Her family didn't like him because they thought he was a bum. Same with other Hispanic couples I know. My boss was a Colombian with a masters degree and her husband was a truck driver. Most of my black women friends with upper degrees are single though. My cousin married an Indian woman whose family had tremendous influence on her decisions. They wanted her to be with a man who had money not the high school sweetheart she married. God those people have no heart and are selfish and cruel.
Those “other race” people are not “arrogant”; it’s called having standards & knowing your options in life. Selfish? Are you under the impression that you’re owed someone’s romantic love?
Having standards is fine but that means dismissing good men who may be better fathers and husbands than the rich man whose income you're eyeballing. You are also dismissing the love that may be the most true and long lasting than the rich man you're looking at.
Love isn't owed its felt and happens naturally and not just because someone's throwing cash at you to buy you things.
NP here. The standards I have for a life partner are not driven my dollars. They relate to character and being equal partners.
Your assumption reveals a misogynistic bias.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 14:47
Subject: Re:Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:The title of this post is entirely misleading. 90 percent of divorces are not filed by college educated women. Only 90 of divorces between college educated people are filed by women. It’s not 90 percent of all divorces.
Huge difference, thanks for the clarification.
Since most US adults have not graduated from college.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 14:33
Subject: Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:They can afford it. Pretty simple.
Yeah, right. I’ve dated a lot of divorced women, many of them with advanced degrees, and when they actually own a house (usually a dusty 1970s row house) they got the money for the house by robbing their ex husband.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 14:33
Subject: Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:They can afford it. Pretty simple.
Yeah, right. I’ve dated a lot of divorced women, many of them with advanced degrees, and when they actually own a house (usually a dusty 1970s row house) they got the money for the house by robbing their ex husband.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 13:28
Subject: Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is related so bear with me:
Back in grad school, I would watch this show called Love Connection (1980s). This is what I observed:
- when the couple was Afro-American, they almost always decided to go on a second date.
- when the couple was working class, about 75% of the time they would go on a second date
- when the couple was Larry the Lawyer and Mary the Marketing MBA, they almost never picked each other for a second date.
Simple, the higher the education, the higher the expectations. The more divorces, though that 90% seems way too high.
Latino couples today don't tend to be as arrogant as other race people may be. My Salvadoran friend has a masters degree but she married a Hispanic guy who only had a high school degree. Her family didn't like him because they thought he was a bum. Same with other Hispanic couples I know. My boss was a Colombian with a masters degree and her husband was a truck driver. Most of my black women friends with upper degrees are single though. My cousin married an Indian woman whose family had tremendous influence on her decisions. They wanted her to be with a man who had money not the high school sweetheart she married. God those people have no heart and are selfish and cruel.
Those “other race” people are not “arrogant”; it’s called having standards & knowing your options in life. Selfish? Are you under the impression that you’re owed someone’s romantic love?
Having standards is fine but that means dismissing good men who may be better fathers and husbands than the rich man whose income you're eyeballing. You are also dismissing the love that may be the most true and long lasting than the rich man you're looking at.
Love isn't owed its felt and happens naturally and not just because someone's throwing cash at you to buy you things.
Women have everything to lose & nothing to gain from marrying down. Many years ago, wealthy men commonly married poor women—with the expectation that they be a domestic servant i.e. do all the cleaning, housework & childcare. Today, a wealthy woman won’t reasonably find a poor man who is willing to be a domestic servant for her.
Also, studies show that women are healthier single, while men are healthier married.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 11:00
Subject: Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is related so bear with me:
Back in grad school, I would watch this show called Love Connection (1980s). This is what I observed:
- when the couple was Afro-American, they almost always decided to go on a second date.
- when the couple was working class, about 75% of the time they would go on a second date
- when the couple was Larry the Lawyer and Mary the Marketing MBA, they almost never picked each other for a second date.
Simple, the higher the education, the higher the expectations. The more divorces, though that 90% seems way too high.
Latino couples today don't tend to be as arrogant as other race people may be. My Salvadoran friend has a masters degree but she married a Hispanic guy who only had a high school degree. Her family didn't like him because they thought he was a bum. Same with other Hispanic couples I know. My boss was a Colombian with a masters degree and her husband was a truck driver. Most of my black women friends with upper degrees are single though. My cousin married an Indian woman whose family had tremendous influence on her decisions. They wanted her to be with a man who had money not the high school sweetheart she married. God those people have no heart and are selfish and cruel.
Those “other race” people are not “arrogant”; it’s called having standards & knowing your options in life. Selfish? Are you under the impression that you’re owed someone’s romantic love?
Having standards is fine but that means dismissing good men who may be better fathers and husbands than the rich man whose income you're eyeballing. You are also dismissing the love that may be the most true and long lasting than the rich man you're looking at.
Love isn't owed its felt and happens naturally and not just because someone's throwing cash at you to buy you things.
No thanks. I am not taking on a charity case that would be intimidated by me & would want to vacation in Orlando when I would prefer to go to Bali.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 09:41
Subject: Re:Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
College women marry more and get divorced less. Find another gripe OP
Anonymous
05/20/2023 08:40
Subject: Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
They can afford it. Pretty simple.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 08:22
Subject: Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
college women are smart
Anonymous
05/20/2023 07:32
Subject: Re:Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lesbians
You're a woman writing this? And calling other women "internal misogynists?" Okay. Women like you who believe we are put on this earth to act the way men want us to are the problem. We should be able to marry and have chilren and still be treated as equals.
Yes, I do think that moms who choose to do everything around the house and with the kids and "gatekeep" those tasks are internalizing patriarchal roles.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 07:30
Subject: Re:Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lesbians
You're a woman writing this? And calling other women "internal misogynists?" Okay. Women like you who believe we are put on this earth to act the way men want us to are the problem. We should be able to marry and have chilren and still be treated as equals.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 07:30
Subject: Re:Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lesbians get divorced at higher rates than gay men. Women have higher expectations for marriage. It's as simple as that.
I disagree with this -- I think women have unrealistic expectations for marriage, particularly post-kids. They let the intimacy wither and die and then wonder why DH isn't feeling romantic/connected with them. I know lots of women who also make parenting choices that trap them into "Mom does it all" dynamics but they won't do anything to extricate themselves from those patterns because of...anxiety? Control issues? Internalized misogyny?
If you don't tolerate dead bedrooms, and if you don't create parenting dynamics and patterns that trap you into resentment, you're much more likely to have a successful marriage.
-woman
Well a man's expectation seems to be that the woman will continue on as normal after kids. They expect women to have as much time for them, to keep their bodies the same, to be just as fun, etc. And they expect themselves to continue on as normal after kids: to have as much fun with the bros, to have as much free time as they did before, etc. Then they also stop being as romantic. The efforts they put in before like dates and gifts get smaller, until they realize that the wife is irritated and then they expect a necklace to fix everything.
I think where women go wrong is that they think marriage will be better for them than it actually is.
I do think men have some very unrealitic expectations of life after marriage and kids but the idea that the man needs to be romantic and give her gifts is as sexist and unrealisitc and the man having the expectation she will want to have wild sex every night. As I said in the comment above, both are sexist traditional gender role expectations. Both people need to respect each other and appreciate each other but these old fashioned expectatios about sex and gifts and romance need to go. They are perpetuated by movies and books and porn etc but are not real life.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 07:27
Subject: Re:Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lesbians get divorced at higher rates than gay men. Women have higher expectations for marriage. It's as simple as that.
I disagree with this -- I think women have unrealistic expectations for marriage, particularly post-kids. They let the intimacy wither and die and then wonder why DH isn't feeling romantic/connected with them. I know lots of women who also make parenting choices that trap them into "Mom does it all" dynamics but they won't do anything to extricate themselves from those patterns because of...anxiety? Control issues? Internalized misogyny?
If you don't tolerate dead bedrooms, and if you don't create parenting dynamics and patterns that trap you into resentment, you're much more likely to have a successful marriage.
-woman
I think too chick flicks and similar can be just as guilty at creating unrealistic expectations for relationship as porn, especially for young women. They still buy into the notion that men should take on traditional gender roles when it comes to caring for them, providing for them, making them feel special, treating them like a princess / queen, being their rock. They see themselves as being capable of a lot but still expect him to place them on a pedestal of sorts and in return they do x, y or z for this man who treats them like a queen. It is just a harmful and unrealistic ideal or expectation to have but I still see it frequently on social media from young women looking to be swept off their feet and for grand gestures and expensive gifts and romantic words. A man who caters to their feelings, needs and wants at the expense of his own and in return they do x and y. It is such an unequal and unhealthy dynamic but still out there.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 07:23
Subject: Re:Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lesbians get divorced at higher rates than gay men. Women have higher expectations for marriage. It's as simple as that.
I disagree with this -- I think women have unrealistic expectations for marriage, particularly post-kids. They let the intimacy wither and die and then wonder why DH isn't feeling romantic/connected with them. I know lots of women who also make parenting choices that trap them into "Mom does it all" dynamics but they won't do anything to extricate themselves from those patterns because of...anxiety? Control issues? Internalized misogyny?
If you don't tolerate dead bedrooms, and if you don't create parenting dynamics and patterns that trap you into resentment, you're much more likely to have a successful marriage.
-woman
Well a man's expectation seems to be that the woman will continue on as normal after kids. They expect women to have as much time for them, to keep their bodies the same, to be just as fun, etc. And they expect themselves to continue on as normal after kids: to have as much fun with the bros, to have as much free time as they did before, etc. Then they also stop being as romantic. The efforts they put in before like dates and gifts get smaller, until they realize that the wife is irritated and then they expect a necklace to fix everything.
I think where women go wrong is that they think marriage will be better for them than it actually is.
Anonymous
05/20/2023 07:23
Subject: Re:Friendly reminder that 90% of divorces are filed by college-educated women
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Lesbians get divorced at higher rates than gay men. Women have higher expectations for marriage. It's as simple as that.
I disagree with this -- I think women have unrealistic expectations for marriage, particularly post-kids. They let the intimacy wither and die and then wonder why DH isn't feeling romantic/connected with them. I know lots of women who also make parenting choices that trap them into "Mom does it all" dynamics but they won't do anything to extricate themselves from those patterns because of...anxiety? Control issues? Internalized misogyny?
If you don't tolerate dead bedrooms, and if you don't create parenting dynamics and patterns that trap you into resentment, you're much more likely to have a successful marriage.
-woman
And men are raised never learning how to be intimately connected to another without sex.