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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This whole thread is triggering to me. Frankly at this point I think I just might make myself a hotel reservation and spa reservation for the whole weekend. I absolutely just cannot have another awful mother's day. I don't want to travel and stay at MILs (packing up kids, baby screaming for hours in the car and not doing a single thing that I like). I'm so grateful that my mom and I celebrate on a different day. DH is too much of a wimp to make that happen.[/quote]

There is zero reason to be "triggered" when you could be making yourself a reservation *right now* and telling--not asking--DH that this is how it is going to be, and if he wants to take kids to see his mom, have at.[/quote]

The truth? I don't like disappointing people. So I try to go with the flow. Then later I get upset that I never get anything I want, that I'm doing all the work, and that I'm a doormat.

My options are to either disappoint everyone or disappoint myself. [/quote]

Have you considered that others won’t actually be disappointed? Don’t you think there’s even a chance that if you explain to DH that you don’t want the pressure of travel and just want to relax, he’ll get that? And if he’s wearing his mom will be upset, you can encourage him to take the kids another weekend or something? Surely there’s some room to talk here, and find out (not guess or wonder or project, but actually find out) how others would feel or react?[/quote]

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