Reply to Negative impact of therapy and "therapy speak"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes!  Thank you for bringing this up, op.  Both siblings have been to therapy and both are estranged from my mom and me.  Both have very high standards for others and lower standards for them.  They expect forgiveness for things they do but are very harsh against ANY thing you do or say even if your intentions were meant for good.  For example, sending a gift to their child because you love them but they tell you that you are " love bombing"

My one sibling cut us off but [b]my other sibling wants a fake relationship where she just tells us how wonderful life is but never wanting to discuss any problems to have a real relationship[/b]

It is very frustrating but I have had to let go because there is nothing I can do.[/quote]

So you are the arbiter of what a “real” relationship is? How very interesting.

I can’t imagine anyone wanting to cut you off or keep you at arm’s length, when you have all the answers and know all about how to have a Real Relationship. There can’t at all be a problem with YOU![/quote]

Ok I knew someone would attack.  Real relationship to me is telling how things are not just the good stuff.    I am nowhere near perfect but it is freeing to tell family members who love you that yes Billy failed math or didn't get into the college he wanted.  The only time my sibling communicates is when her child has done something amazing.  She can't take any criticism and one time I said the leaves weren't as bright and she took it as an insult.  She lives in Vermont and I had to keep telling her this was " the most beautiful leaves"  the most amazing soup she made etc.

So the sibling is afraid of intimacy and even when I apologize she never accepts it.[/quote]

You’re a gossip, clearly. If you’re after information like Billy failed math. Guess what? When you out yourself as a gossip by telling little tales and spreading information, people don’t trust you. For a reason. You spend 20 minutes gossiping about a mutual friend, and then ask me how I am? LOL, I’m good. I’ve got your number, and I’m good. I tell my real friends and trusted family members more about my life. You get surface level only. You think I’m “fake,” but actually I am just smart. I don’t confide in gossips or Tragedy Vultures. And I’ve got your number.[/quote]

Funny I had the opposite take away from OP's follow up. I could see why she didn't want to stay in a small town a with competitive, touchy, and high strung sibling and with parents who enable that sort of behavior. I have no idea where you read that OP was acting as a gossip. She wants to be able to share her life with her friends and family - and that includes the good times and the bad. Instead she has to tiptoe around her sibling's fragile ego.[/quote]

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