Reply to Why doesn't my wife like me?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is not a real question and I don't want an answer. But I am a socially awkward guy who is successful. By no means do I think I'm perfect, but I would love to come in from work one day and hear that I did something well. Does that ever happen to men?

I come home and try to spend time with her but she always tells me she doesn't want to hear about our direct care about my interests whether that be books or TV shows or games, parenting whatever. No-go.

Instead, she'll point out things I do wrong that I guess embarrass her and focus on that, telling me how to improve. But then I improve and create another dependency and the cycle repeats.

It's frustrating because I feel like she married this nerdy dude and she knew he was nerdy. Now she's trying to change me for social acceptance, and meanwhile nerdy me feels isolated. [/quote]

You come home from work and want her to tell you that you did something well.  Are you coming home with dinner?  Did you run to the store for her during your lunch break?  
I mean, typically when you get home from work, she hasn’t actually seen you do anything yet, so it’s not surprising that she isn’t telling you what you did well.  
Also, that 5:30 time that you get home from work is usually a super busy, stressful time.  She’s getting dinner on the table, wrangling hungry kids, etc.  It’s not a time to discuss the novel you are reading.

Today, when you get home from work, jump in and engage in real, practical help with whatever she is doing.  If she is cooking and there is an onion waiting to be chopped, then chop the onion.  If the kids are upset about something, see what’s going on with them.  Then, later, during dinner or when the kids are winding down or in bed, you talk about your day or the book you are reading.  [/quote]

Just stop with this type of banter. Stop. [/quote]

What type of banter?  
My husband also used to find it very offensive that I didn’t want to talk to him right when he got home from work.  The thing is, the time of day he got home from work was the time of day that I wanted to leave my family and flee to Montana.  I have also just gotten home from work and am trying to get a dinner for seven on the table.  Older kids are needing help with homework.  Little kids are up from naps, hungry for dinner, and under foot.  There is a short window of time between when DH gets home and running a kid to xyz activity.  It’s not a good time to talk.  It’s probably a time that I might snap that I don’t care about his day.  
If DH comes home with dinner, then I am definitely grateful, and I tell him so.  Otherwise, no.  I don’t tell him he did a good job today.  How do I know?  His day with me just started a few seconds ago.

As far as coming home from work and jumping right in and helping with dinner prep, that’s my fantasy, and I think a pretty typical female fantasy.  I would say that it’s akin to the male fantasy that his wife will come to bed in sexy lingerie.   
No one has a fantasy that their spouse would create a word game and make them play it.  
[/quote]

Conspicuously missing from this thread, despite multiple requests, are any evidence OP has of him 1) liking his wife the way he wants to be liked 2) praising his wife as he wants to be praised. [/quote]

Yeah.  There is a lot of stuff missing from this thread.  It’s kind of the equivalent of a woman complaining that her husband doesn’t want to have sex with her because she is socially awkward at parties.  At first you want to be all sympathetic, but then she tells you that she isn’t just awkward, she is really odd at parties, and then that she has tried to lure her husband into bed by spending her time making up puzzles that he doesn’t really like to play.  
You want to be like, “have you tried putting down the puzzles and touching his penis?”

I think OP needs to go back to the basics here.   [/quote]

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