Reply to DH (WH) about to be hospitalized for suicide ideation- what do I need to know?

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Reply to "DH (WH) about to be hospitalized for suicide ideation- what do I need to know?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Cancelling or postponing a business trip because your spouse is in the hospital is not sacrificing your career.[/quote]

I think OP is in understandable fear that canceling her first trip after a promotion looks bad. And frankly it will to some. But if her DH gets hospitalized, she needs to treat it the same as [b]if he'd been in a terrible car crash and was hospitalized -- who would leave in that circumstanc[/b]e? No one. It might be a short-term ding with a few managers at work but not with any decent manager. [/quote]

The affair is a big part of the calculus for some PPs. Obviously need to make sure the kids are taken care of, but beyond that it's really optional for OP in terms of how much to be there for this DH.[/quote]

Of course the affair is part of the calculus. But maybe OP doesn't want the father of her kids to be, you know, dead, or so mentally unbalanced he can't be a father as they grow up.

That doesn't mean she has to stay married to him or be his caretaker, but right NOW, today, this weekend, she is in the middle of an immediate crisis and has to get questions answered and arrangements made. "Being there for him" or not is kind of irrelevant here and now. She's asking in her OP about logistics, not "Should I be his caretaker, should I 'be there' for him..." [/quote]

DP.

Nope.

OP is one person. Her meeting is important. She has to go. She can arrange to be back immediately after the meeting. He has other family that is willing to help. Let them step in.

No one is I dispensing, not even OP in this situation. [b]She needs to arrange for her husband to be well taken care of, and then she needs to go do the adult ingredients for her family,[/b] especially for her kids. They might need this promotion soon.[/quote]

JFC. You make those two things sound so f'ing simple: Get him taken care of, go on your work trip. You have no idea that logistically she may be unable to get him somewhere safe before the time she would have to leave. Even if he is faking as some here insist, she cannot possibly know that for sure, and she may be running out of time to get him to a place where she can feel confident he'll be safe so she can leave. Don't leap down my throat at the term "safe," either. Since she has [i]no way to know[/i] if he's faking, she has to [i]assume[/i] for rigtht now that he is not. So she has to get him to a place where she doesn't have to fear that she'll be off on a work trip and he'll do himself harm.

Doing that, and still making her trip in time, maybe be mutually exclusive, if her trip is this week. Blithely saing "she needs him to be well taken care of, then she needs to go" on her trip -- that's the ideal, not necessarily the reality.

I'm thinking you yourself have never had to try to get mental health help for someone in crisis. It is not as simple as drive them to a hospital and  they'll magically be admitted. I am not saying she shouldn't do her work; I'm saying that she may not be able to get things arranged in time to do so. Unless of course you think it's fine for her to leave him with their children while he's like this -- even if he isnt' suicidal for real, he's zoned out. Is it fair on her? No. Does she still have to be the one to make arrangements for him at this point? Yes. As you put it: Especially for their kids. [/quote]

She can get him to his parents. She can get her kids to a friend's for a week. Her kids will need the stability from that job if this man is going down hill.

It's not easy, but it's what she needs to do for her and her kids' future.[/quote]

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