Reply to Elderly in-laws refuse to sell house that needs $200k of work, are out of money, can’t get loan

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As someone who is dealing with similar? They will suck you both dry and not care about any of your futures because they are so focused on their childish feeeelllllinnnnnnggggggssss that they won't face reality. I tried and all we have for it is more demands. I went from loving my parents to resenting their stubbornness to now simply not caring. I'm sure I do deep down, but I can't find that feeling right now.

If you have power of attorney, you have nothing. All you can do is put your foot down before you are both destroyed financially and emotionally.
[/quote]

I have learned this very important lesson the hard way and I am fortune my parents planned financially for the future. They were/are (one has passed) stubborn, difficult and the living one is downright abusive. I have spent years being drained emotionally by someone childish and incapable and facing reality who is still deemed cognitively fine. Over a period of close to ten years where I too have gone from feeling overwhelming love and wanting to care for them and protect them to resentment and then just complete apathy. In my caseboth parents lived in total denial about their own parents so they really did not plan for what aging actually looks like. I am lucky I will be destroyed financially by them, but I let the living parent destroy me emotionally until I finally said enough. We have outside professionals involved with her. After enough rage fits from her I just have nothing left. She was eating alive me and my family and I have 2 kids, one with special needs and a husband with health issues. Selfishness and entitlement know no bounds. I spent so many years empathizing and making excuses for someone who has been utterly selfish and entitled my whole life I just refused to see it until it hit me in the face over and over.

Make sure you you protect yourself and your family. I knew plenty of family members and friends who believed if you made countless sacrifices for others, God would reward you. They are all either dead, dying of cancer or coping with pretty debilitating auto-immune issues.[/quote]

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