Reply to Young AC tells friends that dad is a recovering alcoholic

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]There are abusive parents out there who come to online forums for "help" and OP does not fit the pattern. The pattern of abusive parents: They "have no idea why" the child has a problem. The child was "always difficult."  Nothing is ever the parent's fault. The child is somehow defective. [/b]

OP has been very forthcoming, and this is the odd case where I think it's the kid (genetic personality disorder). [/quote]

Why would you assume those are abusive parents?[/quote]

A study of estranged parents showed that they all "had no idea" despite having written or texted correspondence telling them. I am talking about the types who show up even though not invited, who harrass grandchildren even though asked to step back, etc. You can assume they were abusive, just from present behavior ( not respecting boundaries)  as much as the fact they are cut off. Abusive means emotional/mental as well as physical/sexual.[/quote]

Huh? What in the world are you talking about?[/quote]
DP. Here you go. https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html[/quote]

What is Issendai? This "article" is crap. I was expecting an actual study, not a bunch of quotes cherry picked from an online forum, strung together to bolster a preconceived idea. I had to stop reading it. No one who considers themselves honestly interested in the subject would take seriously an article written in such a one-sided and simplistic manner. I'm actually estranged from my one living parent, and I find so much of the what passes for thought and introspection on DCUM about estrangement to be nonsense. This is just more of the same. It makes me feel sorry for these parents, really. I get that's not what the author or you want, but that's my response. These poor people, obviously living in agony, only to be mocked. The estranged kids sound far from noble victims. They sound like people completely indifferent to the suffering they themselves are causing their parents. I guess the tables have turned and now it's their turn to dish it out. That's not growth. That's the typical pattern when one is abused. Sorry to break it to you.[/quote]

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