Reply to Young AC tells friends that dad is a recovering alcoholic

Forum Index » Adult Children

Reply to "Young AC tells friends that dad is a recovering alcoholic "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the girl is BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder -- not bipolar!! Very different!) My mom has this, and apparently made up that her parents were abusive and her childhood was miserable. I mean, she may have been miserable, and her parents were not perfect, but her depictions of it are self serving, for sympathy and credit and all of that. She's got siblings, and they have very different and more believable perspectives (yes, siblings have varied experiences in dysfunctional households, but hang on a minute).BPDs happen in dysfunctional families but also healthy-enough families - it's genetic and can also get kicked off by environment.

Ok, my main point is : my mother, the BPD, vilified her parents exactly the same way the OP is describing, amplifying certain things, rearranging other things, with zero shame about it, but with a major emphasis on being angry they weren't more mainstream American and richer (instead, poor white immigrants), and all of it seemed perfectly reasonable to her, to rearrange reality so that it got her attention and sympathy. AND THEN, she continued the pattern her entire life, through marriage and her kids (me) and I really, actually and truly suffer from it. She was a nightmare parent.

This story, OP, about your child, could be about my mother at a young unmarried age. So advice is, look out if she gets kids. The kids will need you. My mother allowed us zero relatiobships with extended family, so this will be tricky.[/quote]

OP here. I'm hoping I wouldn't see the bpd reference. I didn't share earlier. But my mother, her grandmother, was very dramatic and borderline personality disorder with victim mentality, narcissistic tendencies etc.  I was fortunate to have not inherited this trait. So I cross my fingers assumed my daughter would be ok. My daughter as much as I hate to say it, reminds me so much of my own mother (her grandmother), who died years back.  When my daughter was a teenager I was hoping it was a phase.  Obviously things are better compared to then. But now she's mid 20s and I'm still asking, well shes young, it's a phase.  I think I've been in denial.  I do love her dearly, she has a lot of amazing qualities.  I just hope she has a healthier outlook on life and relationships than my mother did.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics