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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP if you don't want to cook dinner every night (you said you want to eat food that somebody else makes), tell your DH that  it isn't working for you and, going forward, you will cook 3-4 nights a week and the other nights he either cooks or takes you out.  There is no reason - none, zero - you should be doing all the cooking when you both work. [/quote]

Sure there is - I don't have a commute and can start dinner on time.[/quote]

Are you really still currently treating your anxiety/depression? Therapy and meds? If you’ve slacked off, you need to reach out to your team and schedule a therapy session to make a plan to be less lonely, and maybe to see if this dosage is right for your needs at the current time.

You’re being contrary, negative, defeatist, and you’re making lots of excuses why you can’t change. If that’s the real you, okay, but if that’s not who you are, start taking care of yourself so you can feel better. No one else can do it for you. You sound like you’re in a really bad place and it would be a shame if you start pushing people further away.

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No, I think this is just how I am. I admit I let people run all over me so I don't bother them and get in their way, so it's very difficult to find a solution to things that works for ME, because it usually means it doesn't work for the other person. Therapy hasn't helped with that.[/quote]

So what do you want? Do you want to pull yourself up to an enjoyable state, pull him down into unhappiness too, or keep things how they are and vent here but not change? I’m sure that sounds sarcastic but it’s a real question. It’s just that when people post, they’re usually looking for solutions, but sometimes it’s more about venting than changing. It’ll help people know how to respond if we know your goals. [/quote]

I want to find a way to be happy in a life that isn't what I would have chosen had I known, I suppose.[/quote]

I think you need some support and you aren’t getting it. Please try again with a new therapist who focuses on CBT or similar to help you break patterns of letting people walk all over you. Start small in the mean time. For me, going out is about having a reason to leave the house. I also hate working from home (my job has become fully remote since the pandemic and is quite intense so yes, I sit in front of the computer all day. HATE it. Take your kids and go out to dinner because not wanting to cook is valid. Wanting to leave the house is valid. Your feelings are valid and important. I hope this doesn’t happen but if your husband gives you a hard time about it while he is going out to eat for lunch every single day you should probably just divorce him.

I block my calendar two days a week to take a longer lunch an exercise during that time. I mostly run but at least I’m out of the house. I make up the time at night, or don’t worry about it if I’m over my hours the other 3 days. Can you do one day? Bonus points if you can go to a class of some sort. One of my friends met her BFF at barre class. You have to put yourself out there but even just smiling and saying hi to people is something.

I am hopeful for you OP. I think you can make things better for yourself and I really hope your husband is supportive. If he isn’t it is on him; your feelings still matter.[/quote]

Thank you. This is helpful[/quote]

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