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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote]He told me that he needs to be the top priority in my life. He is the top priority in my life but I seem to disappoint him a lot— I can’t seem to live up to his expectations. If something with work or my elderly parents comes up, he takes it personally if it takes away from time we are spending together.
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To me, this is the real issue, not money or moving. He wants you to put him as the #1 priority in your life--above your job, above your future--- but he is not willing to do the same. If you were #1 in his life, then your interests, your job, your parents, your life would also matter to him and he would work with you to find meaningful compromises.  Its like he only sees your value in relation to what it brings him, he doesn't see you as an independent person with her own set of needs, desires and obligations.

I would NOT give up my job, my home, the community of friends I built for someone who was upset that I pushed a call back due to work. You say he loves you, but loving someone means understanding what they value and what is important to them. He dismisses the importance of these things to you. He has  slotted you into the vision of the life he wants, without taking into consideration that you might not be happy with exactly the same things. [/quote]
OP here. “Slotted me into the vision of the life he wants” is probably the best articulation of my situation. I’m so sad. I keep posting because it breaks my heart to realize his love for me is actually pretty shallow, even though he uses effusive language to describe how he feels. If he wanted to— if he wanted me— he could move to DC tomorrow. [/quote]

OP - don't torture yourself. Most men are like that: will never trade off their convenience for a relationship.They allow women go along, as long as it aligns with their own life. Its all relative: I sometimes think my exH was just playing a family and a house with me. 
Act accordingly. [/quote]

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