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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve read all the way through and I still think you should go.  DH and daughter should have a fun movie and pizza picnic at the hotel while you go to the grownup party.  Your sister is very hurt.  [b]She obviously wants you there.  [/b]There is NO reasonable reason not to go.  It’s rare to find DCUM unanimous in this but it is clear that you should go.  Your sister will be MUCH more hurt and pretty much forever, vs your daughter who can have fun with her dad at a hotel and will have enjoyed the ceremony earlier.  Your daughter has enough cognitive awareness to understand that some things are for kids and some just grownups.  You can simply say your sister thought at first that she could come to the after party but then found out the rules said she couldn’t.

Your parents are absolutely off the chain and them not attending is unforgivable.  If you think it is because of your daughter you had better be VERY clear with them that you don’t want them to do that.[/quote]

OP here, actually, it's not so obvious she wants me there.

And I agree that my parents are being absolutely awful here. They see family as the absolute priority above all else. They don't understand why my sister would celebrate her marriage without wanting all of her family around. But I've long ago accepted my sister's preferences and half expected something like this.[/quote]

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