Reply to How do you prepare for a lonely old age? And how to avoid being lonely when you're old?

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Reply to "How do you prepare for a lonely old age? And how to avoid being lonely when you're old?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thank you for taking the time to post your comments.

The reason I started this thread is because of my MIL. My MIL is 92 years old, she was widowed 10 years ago and she still lives in her own house. MIL suffers from dementia. She receives a lot of support from my DH and his 2 siblings, and from various home health aides. 
MIL receives round the clock care in her own home, 24/7, 365 days a year. Cleaner/housekeeper 4 times a week, 3 live-in aides/companions (24/7) who work in shifts, other aides, and MIL's children who keep her company in rotation.

MIL is a wealthy woman, she can afford to hire aides round the clock. The reason she is getting so much hands on support is because her 3 children (including my DH) have financial POA and they hired the aides on her behalf.

DH and I will never get this kind of help when we are elderly, because we don't have [b]children to organize the help for us, should we become cognitively impaired. [/b]So our job is to do the organising ourselves while we are still physically healthy and sound of mind. [b]Forward planning is key, but how ...?[/b]

I find it quite depressing thinking of all of this right now. I sometimes suffer from bouts of anxiety and then I start catastrophizing things in my mind. My DH - being 9 years older than me - laughs it off and says after he dies I should enjoy the pension pot and have fun!

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Yes this is the KEY right here. Absolutely.  My eldely mother has me to oversee and organize food/assistance/finances.  I have NO idea what state she would be in if she didn't have me around (only child). It's quite alarming![/quote]

Does your mother live on her own, is she aging in place.  This is why people are suggesting over 55's and then independent living.  They manage food and medical assistance.  They take care of all maintenance issues and offer numerous social activities and outings.  They organise transportation to local shops and doctors.  The only thing is finances however I am sure OP could organise that and plan for finances to be organised into something that is easy to manage in older age.  My grandfather who was in independent living was still managing his finances up till 90 when he died and so was my grandmother until her early 90's.  With planning beforehand to make it workable, it can be done.  Just keep it simple.

It's great that you posted how you have NO idea and how it's quite alarming.  You offer nothing except to stress OP into more anxiety.  It's great that you do so much.  My in-laws demand people around them to do so much that they could do themselves and they have aged twice as fast as a result.  Their brains have turned into sloppy messes. Other family members have been quite independent and they seemed to retain their vitality much longer.  They are not silly and don't act like children.

So OP continue to use your brain, continue to push yourself to socialise and it will certainly help you.  You can plan early, perhaps you don't need to make changes now but you can plan.

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